Buffaloed

Out at Yellowstone (not Jellystone) National Park the other day, an 83-year-old woman received serious injuries by being gored by a bison.

The park recommends that visitors on two feet remain 25 yards away from large animals like bison and 100 yards away from bears and wolves. This woman apparently wanted to get up close and personal and this is the result. The bison was simply defending its space when it gored the South Carolina woman, lifting her a foot off the ground with its horns.

The park also noted that more people have been injured by bison there than by any other creature. I guess they look approachable and friendly.

"Bison are not aggressive animals but will defend their space when threatened. They are unpredictable and can run three times faster than humans," the park warned.

These animals are the largest mammals in North America, larger than even Travis Kelce, and they don't mind you watching them from afar. Google maps tells me I am currently 1770 miles away from being gored if I don't get any closer.  

I think that's afar enough. I won't even go to Buffalo, New York, just to be safe.