Table For Two, please

It's been the Trial Of The Year in legal circles, and a breathless public steals every chance to check in on the goin's-on in the packed courtroom.

For reasons of national security, live television coverage is not available, and no cameras are permitted after a brief morning interlude when still cameras, and only still cameras, are permitted to snap a photo or two of the scowling participant, as outside the courtroom, his adherents clamor in support.

I have the scoop for you now. The judge has ruled that tacos and burritos are sandwiches.

Huh?

We are, of course, talking about the epic case in Fort Wayne, Indiana, in which Martin Quintana, a developer and restaurateur out that way, has been trying to open The Famous Taco Mexican Grill in the famous Quintana Plaza strip mall.

Quintana had agreed to avoid putting a traditional fast-food joint in his plaza, and it fell upon noted jurist Superior Judge Craig J. Bobay to delineate the subtle difference between, say, a Whopper, and a Shrimp Taco.

He pointed out that the FTMG "...falls within the scope of the general use approved in the original Written Commitment. The proposed Famous Taco restaurant would serve made-to-order tacos, burritos, and other Mexican-style food, and would not have outdoor seating, drive through service, or serve alcohol. The Court agrees with Quintana that tacos and burritos are Mexican style sandwiches, and the original Written Commitment does not restrict potential restaurants to only American cuisine-style sandwiches.”

Note: He had to go to law school to figure that out. Salud y felicidad to the new taco stand!

Oh Sammy No!

If you still have even a shred of respect for the Highest Court In The Land, good for you. Maybe you could share some of it with me, because I am fresh out, having learned that Sammy "The Bull" Alito had an upside-down American flag flying over his house, telegraphing his support for the silly "The election was like sooooo unfair" movement that led to deaths and disfigurement and a permanent blot on our national prestige.  Never mind that flying the flag as a distress symbol violates the court's ethics codes by creating an appearance of bias. Six of the current benchwarmers are beneath contempt for their disdain toward our nation, and we're supposed to respect them?

But the worst part? Alito telling the New York Times, "I had no involvement whatsoever in the flying of the flag. It was briefly placed by Mrs. Alito in response to a neighbor’s use of objectionable and personally insulting language on yard signs.”

These are the same kind of people who believe that a woman should be in the house, raisin' them young-'uns and stirring up brownie batter, so where does Martha-Ann get the gumption to hoist Old Glory upside down? Swinging Sammy says Martha-Ann was upset because a neighbor posted an anti-trump sign, but, according to the placekicker for the World Champion Kansas City Kelces, the wives are supposed to be in the kitchen, not outside hoisting the flag.

I thought it was legal for citizens to do that, but Martha-Ann Alito is the authority on that now, it would seem.

Judges are supposed to be impartial and hold themselves to the highest standard. Mr and Mrs Sammy Baker Davis Alito Jr. are aligning themselves with the lowest.

And you think they respect the nation they serve?

 

Sunday Rerun: Tell The Teacher We're Surfing

 I always thought that no day at work should go by without at least one laugh. And I used to love leaving gag messages for other people in other offices, such as "Just tell her I have arrived in Venice to find the streets flooded. What to do?"  

I only steal from the best. That one was from Robert Benchley. 

Now, about the real things going on in Venice: the mayor over there got up a search to for two unidentified miscreants who were using motorized surfboards to zip around the canals over there. These two jokers turned out to be Australian tourists who left a lot of commotion in their wake. And now the mayor wants them to be assessed big fines.

Mayor Luigi Brugnaro called them "imbeciles"  and said they were making a mockery of Venice.

Hizzoner had a great way to round up these surfin' dudes: he offered a free Italian dinner to anyone who could help bring the pair to justice.

"Venice is NOT Disneyland," the mayor wrote on a post showing video of the No Beach Boys hanging ten under an arched bridge in the city's serenely beautiful Grand Canal.

It didn't take long for the two to be arrested, their boards seized, and trials looming.

According to the local newspaper, La Nuova di Venezia e Mestre, the two Popeyes received fines of 1,500 euros (about $1,509), and still the mayor wants them tried for the crime of harming Venice's image.

Four years ago, Venice passed a new law forbidding personal watercraft such as paddleboards and kayaks from its municipal waterways. The gondolas and vaporetti (water buses) could hardly make their way around for all the tiny crafts afloat.

In our country, any time there is flooding or high tides due to hurricanes and whatnot, a large contingent of people with kayaks, surfboards, rafts, and canoes just about break their necks to get out on that extra water. 

Why they do this, we may never know. 

Sunday Rerun: Sit Right Down And Write Yourself A Letter

 In this hustle-bustle world of email and text messages and shouts and grunts, the fine art of letter writing is a thing of the past, along with wearing a tie to dinner and wearing a tie anywhere. When was the last time you received a handwritten letter from someone?

Same here. And so, the folks at www.ohlife.com have come up with a way for you to get a letter.  Not handwritten and sealed in a fragrant envelope with X's and O's and other snappy codewords, as in the past, but it's a way to write yourself a letter today and have it emailed to you on October 27, 2045 if you plan to be around then.  The website is here if you want to try it.  If I were forty years younger, I would write a letter to Future Me advising myself to buy Apple stock.  As it is, I have to write a note to remind myself to buy apple juice.



And all this reminded me of a song.  Country music oddball David Allan Coe, a man with talent and skill who decided to fritter both of them away by making racist and salacious music, recorded "X's and O's" early in his career, and for those of you under 80, this sort of thing actually happened.  Men and women would write love letters to each other, and then write cute codes on the envelope, presumably for the amusement of the letter carrier (who gets mentioned in the song this way: "p.m.p.m.d.s.o.f. 's not hard at all -  -
please mr. post man don't stumble or fall").

One thing about emails and texts: you can't write on the envelope.

Another thing about them is, they are free.  As soon as you pay for a computer, a phone, a text service and internet access.

Be a lot cheaper to buy some stamps, but anyway...

The Saturday Picture Show, May 18, 2024

 

There's that place you drive by when you're coming home with a bag of crabs. It's called "Pop's" or "Pete's" or "Pop 'n' Pete's" and while you'd never dare park and stop in for a cold one, you wonder a little what goes on inside that door with the big "All Who Enter Must Be 21 This Means YOU" sign. This is what goes on there. Go on home.

There is something interesting about an abandoned house. Meals were cooked and eaten. homework was done, people had their hearts broken and then filled with joy, and the parade of life continued until they all moved out. If those walls could talk...

The Aurora Borealis did not appear over the sky in Baltimore this time; it was cloudy and rainy, and so we got to see and share photos from those who did see it live and in color.

This purple lake in Iraq would be a perfect place for Ravens fans to celebrate winning the Super Bowl this coming season, except for the part about it being in Iraq.

A field in the early evening. Might be a good screen saver, no?

Proving that commerce knows no boundaries, a Chinese man has set up a mountainside supply store 100 meters in the air for climbers to buy what climbers need to buy.

Baltimore took a big step this week toward reopening the shipping channel that leads to our harbor. Since the crash of the great container vessel Dali that knocked down our bridge on March 26, we've gotten love and support from all over. The other evening, explosives were set off, breaking the bridge into manageable pieces, allowing salvors to raise and remove the damaged ship. By the end of the month, shipping activities should be back to normal. Replacing the bridge will take years, and billions of dollars. 

When the city of Seaside California pulled a zoning regulation and ordered local resident Etienne Constable to conceal the boat in his driveway, he built a fence and showed them all how to park their regulations!

This is either a) a fur coat from South Siberia from the 3rd or 4th century, or the latest in the fall line from Urban Outfitters. Answer is a) but we could believe b).

We call Maryland "America in Miniature" because we have everything except a desert. But looking at a flat map, we don't envision the topography of our wonderful state. It's flat down by the ocean and the bay, and then the farther west you go, it's rather mountainous out where the Steeler fans live.

Cheers to you!

I know, the news will get you down, and so will the weather and the sports if you pay close attention. So we have to find ways to cheer ourselves up.

And we can't always count on YouTube to show us videos of people missing the entire pool when they swandive off the back porch, so, in need of cheer, we turn to food for a cheer-me-up.

I read that too much sugar in our blood (and vice-versa) can make us sluggish and tired, so let's get advice from dietitians. What foods are healthy AND life our spirits? They list six. Shall we?

Pumpkin seeds oh yeah, I love pumpkin seeds. You can gobble an ounce a couple of times a week just by a handful, or you can throw them on a salad or in yogurt or what-have-you. They are a terrific source of tryptophan, which regulates moods by making your body produce more serotonin. I think we all know that. But yes, pumpkin seeds are pretty doggone tasty, and good for you!

And some say they help reduce the risk of heart disease, hypertension, arthritis, autoimmune-related disorders, and cancer. Plus, they grow pumpkins, so there you go!

Fatty fish The American Heart Association says we should have two helpings of fish every week, and fatty fish are the best. Fatty fish are swimmers like anchovies, herring, mackerel, black cod, salmon, sardines, bluefin tuna, whitefish, striped bass, and cobia.  All these are rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which are good for your heart because they lower blood pressure, reduce the risk of irregular heartbeats, and decrease the amount of triglycerides in the blood. 

 

Avocados are good because they lower the risk of cardiovascular disease and coronary heart disease. Being packed with heart-healthy monounsaturated fats, notably oleic acid, vital for brain health and linked to a lower risk of depression, they are just great all around! They also have tryptophan.

But since their appearance, taste, and texture repulse me to my very core, I avoid them like falling anvils. I'll get my tryptophan elsewhere, thanks.  

Oranges are full of vitamin C, which is good for the human noggin. If you come across a depressed person, the chances are, they have a vitamin C deficiency.

 It's the flavonoids that gives oranges antioxidant properties that might help reduce inflammation in the brain. I can say with certainty, my mood is much better when my melon is not inflamed. 

The American Heart Association wants you to have 4½ cups of fruit every day, not including blueberry pie.

Dark leafy greens! Now you're talking my lingo. Try for a cup and a half of greens every week, great stuff like kale, collard greens, spinach, swiss chard, arugula, and bok choy. You whomp up a mess of greens with some ham in it, and you're getting folate and magnesium into you! They say folate prevents depression by keeping serotonin going around.

I can tell you, you sit down to nice bowl of collard greens and ham and a biscuit, and there is no way you're feeling sad!

Dark chocolate puts you in a better mood, according to a study in South Korea, which found that people who ate 10 grams of dark chocolate three times a day were in a better mood! It had to be the 85% cocoa, though. 70% would not do, which many teachers told me over the years.

Researcher sat this is all because chocolate seems to change the microbes in our intestines, which improve our mood via "the gut-brain axis," and I never knew there was such a thing.

SO there you have it, six ways to perk yourself up while spooning food down your neck. Enjoy!

 

 

"Joey, have you ever been in a cockpit before?"

I really want to give a big hand to those of you who choose to travel by airplane. If you're not getting bumped off a flight you hold a ticket for, you're flying on the plane and the door flies off midair, or another plane flies two feet above you because an air traffic controller was playing with his Gameboy...

Or, you could be flying on the charter plane carrying the hapless Colorado Rockies ballclub from Denver to Toronto when the Rockies hitting coach Hensley Meulens climbed into the pilot's seat and began playing like he was flying the doggone plane.

It is against federal regulations for unauthorized people to be on the flight deck, but there they were last month, flying to Canada at 35,000 feet with this Meulens joking around at the controls.

There is a video floating around showing him saying to a person in uniform in the next seat, “Flying the plane, here to Toronto.” 

 “I’m going to land the plane tonight. So relax,” he says. He then reaches toward the flight controls and pretends to take hold, saying, “I just press this button ... and it goes down.”

Meulens played baseball, not particularly well, for a few years, here in the Major Leagues and the minors, and abroad. He speaks five languages, but is not able to say, "I am an a trained and qualified airplane pilot" in any of them. Whatever the people in charge of the flight that night last month were thinking is wrong. 

The bad part of that sort of wrongness is that it can lead to awful consequences for other people through no fault of their own. 

There is a line that separates funny movies from stupid things real people really do. Jet airliners are not a good place to cross that line.

 

How does it feel?

Up in Cape May, New Jersey, movie producers are asking that wonderful little beachside town to play the part of Newport, Rhode Island in the film "A Complete Unknown." 

Anyone with anything on Dylan will remember that in 1965, the sage of Hibbing, Minnesota was just blossoming into wide public fame, and his legend really blew up that summer after he appeared at the Newport Folk Festival playing an electric guitar.

Folk music purists objected to having their music amplified to the point of being heard, as Mike Bloomfield (lead guitar) and Al Kooper (organ) plugged in and gave birth to what came to be called "Folk-Rock."

Chalamet as Dylan

And that's the scenario that will be re-enacted in dear old Cape May this week, with Timothée Chalamet, fresh off his success in the big blockbuster sequel "Dune: Part Two" playing Dylan. Supporting roles are being filled by Elle Fanning (so memorable as a girl from Plainville in "The Girl from Plainville"), Edward Norton (he's from around here and is a major Orioles fan), Benedict Cumberbatch (I believe there is some sort of law that requires him to have a role in every movie these days), and Nick Offerman (he seems cranky). 

The picture does not have a release date as of yet, but I will skip right over "Dune: Part Two" and get in line to see it.

Not THIS Ed Norton!

 

Hands up

 Back in 1901, which seems a lot longer ago than it really was, telephones were new, and cell phones that fit into one's pocket were not even dreamed of! Heck, pockets didn't come on most pairs of pants, and everyone wound up carrying all their keys, smokes, matches, pens, handkerchiefs, wallet and change in a tote sack. Very inconvenient.

But in that golden year of '01, there came a time when one Clifford Blakley of New Jersey had run afoul of the law in his town of Vineland, New Jersey, Did the chief of the local police send a prowl car around to round up poor Clifford for the charge of disorderly conduct? He did not, probably because cars were brand new then, unlike disorderly conduct.

So the chief called Blakley on the phone at the factory where Cliff worked,  and said, "Blakley, I have a warrant here for you. You are to consider yourself my prisoner."

And don't you know, Blakley showed up at police headquarters and made arrangements for his bail. 

Probably wouldn't happen that way today.

Never

It's never too late to make the same mistake again.

Dateline Shenandoah County,  Virginia, where the local school board has restored the names of two schools.

Restored them back to their Confederate glory, yes sir!

They had them a little meetin' down there the other night...started Thursday evening and went plum into Friday morning...and by a vote of 5-1, the board decided to bring back the names Stonewall Jackson High School and Ashby Lee Elementary School. 

Y'all see...four years ago, in the wake of the nation coming to some sort of sense about race relations around here, the same board (under different members) removed those Dixiefied names from public schools where members of the public - children of all races - are educated. Only now, they will again learn their lessons at schools that honor (honor!) rebel leaders Stonewall Jackson, Robert E. Lee and Turner Ashby.

America started coming to its senses following the wanton murder of George Floyd by a Minnesota cop, but now, four years later, some people are losing all their senses and welcoming back what they call the good old days of an un-Civil War and all the segregation they fought for.

George Floyd. Derek Chauvin. Nine minutes and twenty-nine seconds...

Don't you ever let yourself forget that. Down in Shenandoah County, they're counting on you forgetting, so don't.

 

Sunday Rerun (from 2013): Roomy

 Well, I was all set to write about the idiot DJs down in Atlanta who thought it would be funny to do a bit poking fun at a former player for the Saints  - a fellow who has ALS.

But thinking about that sort of person, or three such persons, makes me sick to my stomach.

Wondering about what else was on my mind, I started playing with a photo app called Snapfeed.  Snapfeed allows you to take a picture and do all sorts of filters and color changes.  I wanted to take a new picture on the tablet to test it out, and I thought, for once, let's get up off the recliner.  I don't need another picture of my feet, taken as I lie supine watching Frasier reruns.

So I got up, left the family room and wandered into the formal living room.  I took this picture of the one corner...and aged it so it would look like something passed down from Aunt Maude from the time they brought electric to town.

Right in front of that window, in a planter that sits on the porch, a family of wrens has built a nest and are in the process of moving in.  The male wren is trying to get his brother in law to help move stuff, but you know how that goes.

And then I almost got lost leaving the living room, which we call the formal living room because the "good" sofa and "good" love seat are in there, along with the grandfather clock my father made for us and some other niceties.  I don't go in that room, except if someone comes over to discuss something of earth-shattering importance and Peggy doesn't want me to a) turn the television on (there is no tv in this room) or b) fall asleep while talking.  No one can fall asleep on the sofa in there; the upholstery is still tight and firm, so the sink-in factor is nil.

And with no tv or other form of entertainment, the room might as well be sealed off.  Stop over some time and I'll show it to you, but we won't be there long!

The Saturday Picture Show, May 11, 2024

 

Just to show you that size is a matter of perspective...that's the world's smallest working computer on the right.  And a grain of rice on the left.

This past Wednesday marked the end of the European campaign in World War II (5/8/45). Celebrations of V-E (Victory in Europe) Day erupted all over the free world. During the war, families with members in the service displayed a blue star in their front window. Sadly, they were replaced by gold stars if that family member was lost in the war. 

Bad taste and lousy humor reached their apogee the other day when noted wits Kim Kardashian and "Gronk" Gronkowski roasted Brady. What a laff-fest. 

Good health news this week for those of us who splash olive oil all over everything they eat. Research indicates that EVOO helps prevent dementia! Good.

Except for the "playing outside for 20 minutes" rule, I can use my electronics every day.

There is no better happiness than being happy in one's own home, be it ever so...

Here's a balustrade that will send your guests home talking about your balustrade.

They call it re-purposing...no one needs a pay phone when they carry their phone in their pocket...but the phone might need a little jolt...

Stray Cats on the streets of London. They look like they know how to get along in life.

An amused motorist found that his squirrels were using the space under his hood as a storage depot for Black Walnuts.

Hello? Who's This?

The Orioles played the formerly lifeless and now quite competitive Washington Senators Nationals this week and barely fought them to a draw, one win each. However, seeing Nats manager Dave Martinez in their dugout reminded me of this story from 2021.

As reported in the Washington POST, a woman was talking to her husband on the phone while he was at the stadium waiting for a rain delay to end, or the game to start, or for the game to be suspended, or whatever. He was sitting all damp in the ballpark without a word as to what was happening, so she called his wife, who was NOT at the ballpark, for the latest on what was happening...at the ballpark.

She called the ticket office but the call died after one ring. She called back and an answering machine asked her whom she wanted to speak with. She said "The general management office," and after a couple of rings, a man's voice answered, saying, "Hello?" as if that were a question.

“Can I speak to a representative of the Washington Nationals?” she responded.

“You are speaking to a representative of the Washington Nationals,” came the reply. So the lady asked for some idea about the game's status, and the man told her it would "almost certainly be suspended." 

"What about our tickets? Do we get rain checks?" was her next question, and the man's next answer was that he had no idea. He asked her name, and she said she was Mrs Crowl.

“Ms. Crowl, this is Dave Martinez,” said the Nationals’ manager. And he took her contact info and promised her tickets to a future game and left her with a story that she can still tell, three years later.

So who knows? Call the White House, call Toyota Motor Sales, call MGM Movie studios and ask for the person in charge.

You never know. 

 

 

Bulletheads

As the world watches, four Americans are waiting to see what happens to the ammunition offenses they are charged with in the luxury getaway so nice they had to name it twice: Turks and Caicos.

The Turks and Caicos Islands Government reminds one and all that carrying firearms and/or ammunition into the British Overseas Territory is strictly forbidden.

The four Americans are: Michael Lee Evans, 72; Bryan Hagerich (no age listed); Tyler Scott Wenrich, 31; and Ryan Tyler Watson, 40.

They all face a minimum of 12 years in a really tropical prison, so they have that going for that. No Gulag Archipelago for these fools, no sir!

Luxurious accommodations for gun and ammo toters!

And of course, you turn on the news in America and you see the wives and children, so sad that Dad might not be home anytime soon.

You also turn on the news in America and see a veritable bloodbath of Americans being killed and wounded by guns. So it's not hard to blame the people of Turks and/or Caicos for objecting to their island paradise becoming a shooting gallery like most of America. They have passed laws to make sure that doesn't happen. 

Americans are people who see laws as only applying to other people. Messrs. Evans, Hagerich, Wenrich, and Watson are just now learning that sometimes, the law is the law. 

Just like your fourth grade teacher told you when you got caught violating a playground rule and were punished for it, this will serve as an example to the others who just can't feel strong with their weapons to cling to. 

You can bet that wives all over America are double-checking the family luggage now before taking off on the wings of man to T&C. Someone has to be smart about it.

Salty

I always endeavor to bring you a complete look at the big old world around us. Therefore, even though I was unable to make it to this year's Met Gala big doin's up in Manhattan due to dual lacks (invitation and interest), I want you to know that Jessica Biel was there, making her first appearance on the "Met Gala steps" since 2013.

You remember Jessica, 42, from her many TV and movie roles, and she is married to Justin Timberlake (but he was not there. It's not like he forgot to show up, but  he is touring Europe on his Forget Tomorrow tour this week.)

 This year's theme at the Gala was “Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion.” Now, to me, that sounds like when Montgomery Ward had their annual Salute To Sleepware sale back in the day, but this Gala was to exhibit 250 items from 400 years of fashion, which peaked with an 1877 Charles Frederick Worth silk satin ball gown. 

That's a good question: What is Charles Frederick Worth?

And because I also promise to promote healthy living by passing along Advice From Rich And Famous Hollywood Stars, I can now share that Ms Biel has told the world that she prepared for her big night on the red carpet by soaking in 20 lbs. of epsom salt in hot water the night before.

"With water as hot as you can take it, [have] a 30-minute soak the night before," she explained. "[Then] drink tons of water, and off to bed early."

She does look well-rested

All that water is to make sure she gets up early in the morning to wash off all the epsom salt residue.

Aren't you glad you're you?

For 14 bucks, I'll take two pairs!

One of the key principles in commerce has always been "caveat emptor," which means "Be careful or these stores will rob you blind" in Latin.  More specifically, it means "let the buyer beware."  

You might also say, "let the buyer be aware," because if the corporations make a mistake, and you're aware of it, you might be in a position to profit from their boo-boo.

Cartier - the classy jeweler - put the wrong price on a pair of gold-and-diamond earrings, and Mexico's federal consumer protection agency wound up getting involved, and after further review, they ruled in favor of the consumer they are sworn to protect. Good for them.

Dr Rogelio Villarreal, a Mexican physician, was browsing on Instagram when a low low price on earrings caught his eyes. The ad was supposed to say that the ear danglers cost 237,000 pesos (more than $14,000), but the ad said they could be yours for 237 pesos (about $14). Cartier left off three zeros by mistake.

When Dr V saw this low price, he says he broke out in a cold sweat. But his sweaty index finger clicked on the sale price to buy the bargain, and then the fireworks started.

Cartier said, no deal, but they tried to smooth everything over with a bottle of champagne and a leather cardholder someone had sitting around  as a way of apologizing. Doc V said no thanks, and took the matter up with the consumer protection people.

And when someone asked Dr Villareal why he continued to press his point, he said Cartier ticked him off, by first saying they had to cancel his order because the earrings were mispriced by accident, and then they changed to the tune called "We can't fulfill your order because the earrings are out of stock." 

But Cartier eventually gave in, faced with a PR nightmare, and sold the good doctor two pairs of the bargain earrings - a pair for himself and one for his mother.

 The doc posted this picture on April 22: "War is over. Cartier gave in."

Interesting to read that Mexican Senator Lilly Téllez, who seems to be courting the big business votes over those of the Average José and Josefina, posted on X that she didn't think he should have taken advantage of the mistake.  

"Kids: What the buyer of the Cartier earrings did is not correct," Senator Téllez tweeted. "It's wrong to be opportunistic and take advantage of a mistake at the expense of someone else, and abuse the law, even if it's in your favor, and outwit a business. It is more important to be honorable than to have a pair of Cartier earrings."

Dr  Villarreal says his bottom line is that "this case helps make Mexican people aware of their basic rights, including those protected by consumer law."

Caveat venditor! Let the seller beware! 

 

A little dab'll do ya

You'll know how old this story is when I tell you it took place in Eleuthera, in the Bahamas, after Peggy won a trip to Club Med on that lovely isle when White Marsh Mall opened. Since our vacation in 1982, that Club Med was wiped out by a hurricane, White Marsh Mall is a virtual ghost town soon to become apartments and I don't know what-all else, and life keeps changing.

But some things don't. We happened to be taking a walk in the little town of Eleuthera, and one of the people at the resort was saying she had gotten a little too much sun the day before. A lady who was sitting in front of her house said, "Oh miss, come here, I can help!" and she broke off an aloe leaf for the woman to apply the goo to her burns. And it helped! 

We had heard of aloe, but did not know people grew it in their yards, but we found out something. The natural cures like that beat the patent medicines (with names like "BurnNoMor" and "Chill Factory") all to hell, because they are simple, and they work.

Don't believe me, ask Rakus.

Rakus is an orangutan (known in Baltimore as an "orangutang") who lives in the Suaq Balimbing research site, a rainforest in Indonesia. He had a wound on his cheek from a fight (known in Baltimore as a "scrap, fade, bangin' out!, throwing hands, or tightening up"), and he treated the wound with medicine from a tropical plant. 

Some animals are known to treat their boo-boos and illnesses with their own remedies straight out of nature. In this case, Rakus was seen plucking and chewing leaves from a plant that local humans use as a medication. Then he used his fingers to spread the plant juice from his mouth onto the sore.

AND THEN he made sort of a Band-Aid out of the chewed pulp and covered the wound.  And it healed in a few days!

“This is the first time that we have observed a wild animal applying a quite potent medicinal plant directly to a wound,” said Isabelle Laumer, a biologist at the Max Planck Institute of Animal Behavior in Konstanz, Germany.

Within a month, the sore spot was completely healed. 

All better, two months later!

We're still learning about self-cures and home remedies, but you'll notice that Rakus, without access to the internet and podcasts by Gwyneth Paltrow, figured out how to heal himself. Maybe that's a sign to listen to nature! 

 

Sunday Rerun (from 2022): As Josh Hawley would say, "You can run, but you can't hide."

 I wonder how a person can commit a crime in 1975 and walk around until 2022 without being arrested. How does it feel? Do you look over your left shoulder all the time? Do you panic whenever the phone rings or someone knocks at the door? 

And is it almost a relief when that knock comes from someone with handcuffs on their belt and an arrest warrant in their hand? I have to wonder.

I'm not saying this guy is guilty, y'unnerstand, but Lancaster County Police up in Pennsylvania do, so let's see how the trial comes out.  And to think, it was a coffee cup that might have sealed his fate.

Last Sunday, Lancaster County arrested David Sinopoli, 68, and charged him in the 1975 killing of Lindy Sue Biechler. Mrs Biechler was murdered - stabbed to death - at age 19 in the apartment in Lancaster she shared with her husband.

This was a cold case for years, but only because detectives had run down every lead. Never did they give up on solving it, but advanced DNA and genealogy research made Sinopoli became the prime suspect.

"This case was solved with the use of DNA and specifically DNA genealogy and quite honestly without that, I don't know that we would have ever solved it," Lancaster County District Attorney Heather Adams said at news conference.

Sinopoli and Biechler

It was December 5, 1975, when Biechler's aunt and uncle stopped by her apartment in the Spring Manor Apartments in Manor Township to exchange Christmas cookie recipes, and found what Ms Adams described as a horrific scene. The victim was stabbed 19 times. There were defensive wounds, and DNA evidence was gathered, although it would be another ten years before DNA testing became a part of crime detection.

An organization called Parabon NanoLabs solved another cold case, so investigators asked if they could use the evidence from the Biechler case.

Interestingly, that DNA led Parabon to look for people with ancestry around the Gasperina section of Italy. Parabon investigator CeCe Moore found 2,300 people with Italian ancestry in Lancaster County in late 1975.

Examining public records, old newspaper archives, and more, Moore winnowed down the list of candidates, leading her to point to Sinopoli as the lead suspect. Sinopoli had never been thought of as a possible suspect before.

Detectives went to work. They found that Sinopoli had lived in the same apartment complex at the time of the murder.

And he was still living in the area. Police needed a DNA sample to clinch their case, and got one while doing surveillance on him. They followed him to the Philadelphia airport and snagged a coffee cup that he tossed away.

As Lennie Briscoe would have said on "Law & Order," he should have switched to decaf...and taken the cup. DNA match. Bonk bonk.

"This has been a never-ending pursuit of justice for Lindy Sue Biechler that has led us to identifying and arresting David Sinopoli," Adams said. "Lindy Sue Biechler was on the minds of many throughout the years. Certainly law enforcement has never forgotten about her. And this arrest marks the first step in obtaining justice for Lindy Sue Biechler and holding her killer responsible."

Sinopoli is being held without bail on one count of criminal homicide.

The Saturday Picture Show, May 4, 2024

 

This might be someone's idea of a clever image, but to a lover of phonograph records, seeing them ruined forever by the introduction of heat or sunlight is a stab in the heart. One of these might have brought someone happiness, and now that happiness is sacrificed, and for what?

This goat got lucky. It was brought to this tiger to serve as the tiger's...dinner. But felines will do what they will, and this goat wound up as the tiger's...friend.

“Groovy, baby!” Austin Powers himself, Mike Myers, is back after a year out of the limelight. I see he joined the Silver Club. "Oh, behave!"

I need this giant bureau just for my t-shirts, socks, and shorts. It might be hard to sneak it into the bedroom, though.

Another one from the animal files...this bear and wolf teamed up and roamed and hunted together for ten days. I don't know who followed them around; I'll take their word for it!

Tom Brown is a retired engineer who has kept almost 1000 varieties of apples thriving, some of which were almost lost to agro-evolution. If he's in charge of Cosmic Crisp, he gets a big hand from me! Sweet, tangy, and snappy, yes sir!

My current Show I Should Have Watched 25 years Ago But Didn't So I'm Streaming It Now...Gilmore Girls. I'm just a small-town angst-ridden teen inside.

No one was surprised that Fred and Barney enjoyed the guitar stylings of Keith Richards long ago in Bedrock. I just didn't know they had color TV way back then.

This just does not sit right with me. You want others to stand up, you go first!

You can buy a buffalo with a lot of buffalo bills!

Roger Miller, master songwriter, composed "You Can't Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd, " but Miller, the pride of Erick, Oklahoma, never met this fool who...went to Yellowstone National Park and kicked a bison in the leg. 

OF COURSE the 40-year-old buffalo botherer was drunk. He received minor injuries and wound up in jail for being under the influence of alcohol, disorderly conduct, and approaching and disturbing wildlife.

You're not supposed to do that. You know that, which is why you're not at Jellystone being arrested by Ranger Smith right now, but hot-a-mighty, what is wrong with people that they just can't stop being the south end of northbound horses?

This galoot's friend was driving him around the park, and he got pinched for  driving under the influence, failing to yield to a police car, and disturbing wildlife.

They're both the twin prides of Idaho Falls, Idaho. Isn't that the state where a lot of these fact-denying misfits have settled?

Bison, which are different from buffalos because they have a different name (same as alligators and crocodiles) are some big huggers. Males can run up to 2,000 pounds, and speaking of running, they sprint at 40 mph, which is faster than you and I, trust me. They are the biggest land mammals in North America, and no one can stop them from going swimming, so don't even try.

Best advice - go to the park, enjoy the sights, stay sober, and don't bother the wildlife. It never ends well.

 

Speaking of....

I love the English language - always have! - and I think it's fairly easy to use it correctly. One great piece of advice - similar to not trying a car with a manual transmission unless you've been taught to drive a stick - is not to use words unless you are sure of their meanings. I read everything I could find that Truman Capote and William G. Buckley wrote, not that I agreed on a single thing with the ultraconservative Buckley, but he and Capote were both masters of the word.

How many times have we seen a post about a certain sauce that really "compliments" the veal it's served upon? 

The letter writer who eulogized Natalie Wood as the "penultimate" lady in the Baltimore SUN after her death surely thought that he was singing her praises above the ultimate level.

He might have written that letter on very nice stationery he got as a gift, but he had to be careful not to call his paper and envelopes "stationary."

CNN's Laura Coates made the list recently when she covered the story of the unfortunate soul who committed an act of self-immolation outside a courthouse in Manhattan. If only she hadn't said, "We have a man who has set fire to himself, a man has emblazoned himself outside of the courthouse just now." To emblazon is to attach a design onto something. Nothing to do with setting anything ablaze.

Maybe that's what she was thinking of! And she was speaking live at a frenetic event, so I'll give her a pass this time.

But none for Lawrence Leamer, the writer who so thoroughly researched the relationships among Truman Capote and his "swans," the socialites who formed his support squad for so many years. He should have had a proofreader/editor dive thoroughly into his book "Capote's Women," in which he a) refers to someone's words as "mordent" (a musical term) when he meant "mordant," and b) said that Capote was a "vociferous" reader. With his meek voice, Capote would not have been vehement and loud while reading. Leamer meant voracious, and someone should have told him so....vociferously.