A message from Mr Musk

You really have to be careful. Here is an actual message I got on my messenger the other morning, You see anything suspicious?

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

This is Elon Musk Tesla, we are happy to inform you that your name has been randomly selected via your comment on our Facebook post & page with ACCEPT to proceed thank you. Congratulations to you once again.

My first clue was that I ostensibly got anything in any form of message from the supremely bizarre Elon Musk. I'll tell you how strange I think he is...Jeff Goldblum seems normal by comparison. I mean, really.

And this "Elon Musk Tesla"...are they trying to make me think that the peculiar South African is running a Tesla dealership, rather than Tesla itself, not to mention Space-X and FedEx, X Games and Durex? If I went to the dealership, could I expect to see Elon selling coupes while wearing a loud plaid suit and bellowing, "My name is Elon Musk, and I'm making deals like you ain't never seen before, hot damn! So git your wagon on down here to Elon Musk Tesla, by cracky!" 

No, because that lacks the dignity that Mr Musk has always brought to his enterprises. And I know that it's way beneath his solid standing to toss Teslas around like paper towels at a Puerto Rican flood.

So I will not be clicking on that link to get whatever free prize I'll never win. It really makes me sad, though, to realize that other people will.

There really is a sucker born every minute. Don't let it be you.

Commuting in slippers

If the pandemic (remember???) was good for anything, it was solid proof that not all work has to be done in a traditional office or designated setting. The virus was kind enough to wait until just about everyone had computer access at home, enabling many to work or study from the comfort of their overstuffed chair at home. 

So, when some large national or international companies started to pull in the reins a little and say "we need to see your smiling face around the worksite a little more," a lot of the younger workers, who had gotten used to typing up motions for the Landseeker vs Honeyman case while clad in slippers and those flannel pants that are just right for the bedroom, living room, and produce aisle at the Giant, said "hey no, wait a minute..."

Gallup polls said that older workers, whose spirits have been broken by decades of office coffee, improper personal hygiene among coworkers, and actually having to drive the roads to work with all those maniacs out there, were less resistant to coming back.

But here's the twist: the younger workers were also the least interested in jobs that were entirely remote. Go figure.

As people will, someone studied that contradiction and found that young people feel they suffer in terms of career advancement by working from home because they have fewer chances to train and, therefore, fewer opportunities that climb up that old corporate ladder.

Getting it done at home

 

As I celebrate the 14th (!) anniversary of my retirement, I wish to tell the younger people on the job that there are very few training sessions, unless you are working in the field of diesel mechanics or pancake making, that can't be covered in a memo and/or a phone call. 

And as for promotions, the time honored advancement system based upon who you know will never go out of date. Know more people. In fact, have them over for lunch while you work at home!

But they have to leave by 1:30. Your show comes on at 2!

 

Rolling in the dough

I have been around dozens - hundreds - of volunteer fire companies, and the one thing they all have in common is this - they have to have some sort of revenue source to keep operating. Sometimes they get some sort of stipend from the local government, but not all counties do this. It costs big bucks to purchase and maintain fire and EMS apparatus, so volunteer companies have always had to be creative.

From demolition derbies to carnivals to music concerts to firehouse suppers, they have to work hard to come up with the money to serve the public. I thought this was interesting on the Library Of Congress page. In 1942, the volunteer fire company in Bantam, Connecticut, installed a bowling alley in the basement of the firehouse. 

Every night of the week, there were matches between groups, and the caption read that there were several hot rivalries going on. I can see the Plumbers vs the Steamfitters, the farmers vs the grocers, the Presbyterian choir against the Lutheran singers...a fun night out for the bowlers and their friends and families...

Sunday Rerun: All Rise!

 Years ago, someone in his audience asked TV comic Steve Allen, "Do they get your show in Oakland?"

Quick as always, "Steverino" said, "They SEE my show in Oakland, but I'm not sure they GET it!"

This makes me wonder if they see American TV shows in other countries. Sure, they see those "Real Housewives of Omaha" and "ER" and all those Chicago shows and Law & Order and what-have-you, but I mean the day-to-day stuff like "Judge Lauren Lake" and "Judge Hatchett."

Lately I find myself dawdling over the breakfast dishes to see what sort of human drama is dragged out in front of those two women. Just the other morning, Lake handled the landmark case of a woman whose daughter dropped a dookie in her friend's swimming pool.  With her customary grace, she handed down a ruling that didn't even mention "Caddyshack," which would have been my go-to from the get-go.

And then the judicial wheel turned to the courtroom of Judge Hatchett, in which a guy named Omar was accused of bringing a meatloaf challenge to his workplace. The loaf was stuffed with ghost peppers, and the challenge was to survive eating it. One guy ate some, but was gripped with paroxysms of coughing that caused internal injuries. The meatloaf purveyor viewed all this with a certain amount of glee, even though his coworker was in the hospital for surgery and three weeks of recovery. Big fun, huh? Judge H threw the book at him - a judgement for the plaintiff to the tune of $5,000.

And remember, I have always told people who have nothing on their calendar for any random weekday morning or afternoon, the best free show in town is in your nearest District Court, where protestations of innocence rival the best theatrics of Gielgud and Barrymore (or Nicolas Cage, for you youngsters.) But what if people in distant lands can tune in and see our judge shows and form an impression that Americans are always running around deucing in the pool and creating foods to blow out their co-workers' esophagi?

America, where is our precious dignity?

 

 

The Saturday Picture Show, February 28, 2026

Teachers and others who deal with adolescents: we now know that it was Johnny Carson and James Stewart who started this 6-7 craze a long time ago. And they don't care!

You have seen the fabled ivy walls of Chicago's Wrigley Field, home of the Cubs. This winter, they were doing maintenance on the brickwork, so the ivy was carefully removed and stored in a special greenhouse of sorts. Let's hope it's back for opening day!

Consider the work, the dedication, and the basic athletic talent that led Alysa Liu to be the 2026 Milan Cortina Winter Olympic women's figure skating gold medalist. And remain a very cool person as well! 

I have long been in favor of lengthy prison terms for anyone who does anything untoward to a library book. You dog-ear a book or write in it, you're off to the Ironbar Hilton for sixty days, wise guy!

I hope this officer charges this galoot with everything in and off the books, including the 1864 Crédit Mobilier scandal. Way to go, pal.

Honey! I think the milk expires on Monday, but don't ask which Monday. 

They usually cover up the zipper after they finish the brick part, but here is a secret construction secret.

Today's free wallpaper is a close-up view of a glass marble.

Why go all the way to Callahan Auto Parts for the right door latch for the Oldsmobile? Take the knob off the shed door and don't tell anyone!

An ambulance and a school bus got married and here's their first baby!
 

Ferris Wheeler's Day Off

Up in Phoenixville, Pa., where they are proud to have been named (by Travel & Leisure) as the best small town in America last year, they are hoping to celebrate 2026 by bringing a big deal back to town.

It's the Phoenix Wheel, the oldest amusement wheel in existence, which thrilled 'em by the hundreds from 1895 to 1988 in Asbury Park, N. J.  It's coming back to where it was crafted way back when, but don't get too excited about going for a spin up in the air, because it's coming back as a still statue, brightly illuminated for the boys from the local high schools, who will be sure to climb up there.

78' high and 68' feet wide, the wheel is being reassembled now, rising from the junkpile right in the center of Phoenixville. They hope to have it back together next spring at a newly-cleared plot of land adjacent to the Township Building and the French Creek Trail.

Plenty of parking for the High School High Climbers

“The Phoenix Wheel's revival is more than just restoring an artifact,” said Barbara Cohen, President of the Schuylkill River Heritage Commission, a non-profit museum that "celebrates the industrial legacy of Phoenixville and the Schuylkill River." 

“It’s about community, heritage, resilience, and the power of preserving Phoenixville’s unique history for future generations," Ms Cohen concluded. 

It's a two-million dollar project, and I can't wait to see the first "Class of '27" graffiti adorn it. 

Count 'em!

 Who enjoys rolling up a sleeve on a freezing Tuesday morning so that someone can stick a needle in it and suck blood out of a vein? 

I don’t mind it. It's for a physical,  so they need the juice. And the people at the Quest lab are remarkably friendly at what some consider an awful hour ( 7 AM) and in no time at all, I'll be tuckering down to a great breakfast as soon as I cook it.

On my way out, two ladies were sitting in the waiting room, so I chatted with them. I'm an irrepressible chatterbox. And one of them said to me, as I donned my hoodie (Alabama)  and cap (Orioles), "Have a blessed day!"

Well, ma'am, thank you for that! I am fortunate to be blessed. I look at my life and I can't help but be grateful for all my blessings! I have love (the greatest and most patient wife, friends and family), health (thanks in part to a tremendous squad of doctors and my own stubbornness), a marvelous house (come see our new front door latch, expertly installed by Easter Lock & Key!) and all the happiness this old heart can hold.

And laughter. What a blessing that is. Did you hear the one about the old man and his blog?