Why I love history, reason # 182,930

One of the gags I have repeated is the one about the guy who lost his job at the fire hydrant factory because he could never find a place to park.

That's a joke, but this is true. In 1836, there was a fire at the Blodget Hotel Bldg in Washington, D.C. That December 15 blaze marked the first of two major fires the U.S. Patent Office has dealt with over the years. The patent office had its offices in the hotel, and thousands of documents made ashes of themselves.

The Blodget Hotel

AND...the original US patent paperwork for early fire hydrants was destroyed in that fire, so think of it - the paperwork for one of our most useful firefighting innovations was destroyed in a fire!

 A little something else - remember how the British burned down a lot of buildings in the War of 1812? Someone was able to talk them out of burning down that hotel. Then in 1820, a slate roof was added to the hotel, and a fire engine was purchased to protect the building. Fire engines in those days were not like how we picture them today; they were hand or horse-drawn and relied on humans to pump the water. 

But the local volunteer fire company stationed at the hotel lost interest in firefighting when all this fire-prevention techniques were added. The engine was moved down the street, but no one wanted to volunteer, so when the fire broke out in the Patent Office, no manpower showed up to extinguish it.

One more hoary old punchline: "If we had ham, we could have had ham and eggs, if we had eggs."

One-Two-Three-Four!

People are often amazed that I remember when The Beatles came to save America from the post-Kennedy assassination blues/post-Eisenhower lethargy. 

But that was 1964, when they were young, cheeky blokes from Liverpool, Now, as the years have rolled by, we've lost John Lennon (standard American gun murder) and George Harrison (cancer).  That leaves Paul McCartney (83) and Ringo Starr (85) and, let's face it, they're not getting any younger. 

There is always talk of a Beatles tontine, and no, that's not an Italian dessert. A tontine is an arrangement in which members of a group pool money, and the last survivor collects the whole pot. I don't guess that either Paul or Ringo need money.

I'm not inclined to wager, so I wouldn't bet a nickel on which of the Fab Two would be around to cash in all the chips. There's no indication that a tontine exists between them. However, since Americans are willing to bet on anything, such as the exact temperature reading at the kickoff of Super Bowl, so I have to figure there is money on the "who's next - who's last?" topic in the Las Vegas betting books.

I have my hunch. Not to be morbid, but what do you think? 

  

Got a light?

First of the season! I saw a couple of lightning bugs (AKA fireflies, or the popular Baltimore variation "Lightening" bugs) when I was hauling the garbage out last night. Cute little girls and guys, they are, and they use bioluminescence to light up. And they're out in summer, but they don't get overheated, because they use 99% of their energy to produce light, rather than heat. They carry around a supply of a compound called luciferin (note the root word "Lucifer"!) and mix that with an enzyme called luciferase, and presto: Light!

They only live for a couple of weeks, so they get right down to business, which in their cases is the old mating game. And there are lots of species of lightning bugs, each with its own unique flash pattern and flight path. This is how they make sure they are signaling the right kind of potential mate with their on-off lights. 

And they spend up to two years as larvae, living in leaf litter and happily gobbling snails, slugs, and worms, before they get to spread their wings and live it up!

And while the common lore around here in the east is that the western part of the USA does not play host to lightning bugs, the fact is, western fireflies do exist- but nature did not equip them with the chemicals that would make them glow. So they are out there zipping around, but they don't light up.

The more you know about fireflies, the more you start to realize that maybe nature is trying to tell humans to use more of their energy to produce more light and less heat. Hmmm.

A little ruff on the soccer field

 They're getting ready to have soccer games in Canada as part of the World Cup, featuring humans from Canada and nations all over the globe.  And geese from Canada. They fly overhead and might even land on the field (the "pitch," as soccer fans call it) and however they travel, they are bound to leave their little ...biscuits behind.

That's no way to play important games of soccer ("football," as soccer fans call it), having to dodge geese droppings. 

Canadians being infinitely resourceful (they found a way to make Geddy Lee and Rush famous), the grounds crew at a  World Cup practice pitch in Etobicoke’s Centennial Park found a way to keep the field unpoopulated.

They use dogs, working canines employed by Border Control Bird Dogs, out of  Sterling, Ontario.

Soccer dog "Ben" reporting for duty

This is Gareth Williams's business. He has taught the hounds to "haze" the geese, instead of chasing them. Williams says this “reeducates” the birds. By convincing the geese that there are predators in the area, this keeps them away, so it's considered a humane way of keeping birds off grassy areas.

“The dogs crouch down and stalk the geese, as they would traditionally for sheep and moving livestock,” Williams told CTV News Toronto. “Geese then start thinking the border collies are predators in that area, and it encourages them to leave.”

Williams has a five-dog squad that he dispatches around the province, at golf courses, schools, cemeteries, and any other type of large, open green space. The premise is that "they’re fighting nature with nature, ” as he puts it.

Down here in the states, we would just send hoodlum dogs to tell the geese to "get outta town if you know what's good for you, see?" They're more restrained north of the border!

Sunday Rerun: If you can't say something nice...

  Oh, how nice it would be if talented people were allowed to enjoy their lives, sharing their blessings and making people happy. 

I'm thinking of Karen Carpenter, the singer who performed with her brother Richard in the 70s and 80s. Her velvety contralto voice sweetened the air as The Carpenters had hit after hit. She comes to mind today because I read an interview with the late great Hal Blaine, the drummer who kept the beat on the greatest songs of the rock and roll era. 

As Karen and Richard began making records, she was the drummer, and his keyboards provided accompaniment to her divine singing. But her drumming, although good, was not great, and Herb Alpert, head of their record company, brought Blaine in to spice up the beat.

Hal arrived at the studio to find opposition from...the mother of Karen and Richard, who sought to make the decisions, musical and otherwise, for the duo. Blaine said that Mrs Carpenter was telling Richard he was the star, and had little regard for Karen's talent. She wanted him in the spotlight and Karen behind the drums, while she was ten times better as a singer than drummer. 

They wound up making great records, but Karen was never made to feel worthy. No wonder she developed the eating disorder that would cut her life way too short.

No one asked me for advice, but if you have a child who displays talent at some creative venture, how about encouraging them, and urging them to do their best? Why hurt them by belittling them?

The Saturday Picture Show, June 13, 2026

 

You never know what you're going to find when you tear out some old drywall. Someone finished their quart of lunch and walled off the evidence. 

Do you want to tell her? I didn't think so! 

This is from a sandwich shop in Vancouver, Canada. They really know how to draw the celebrities! Liam showed up for his free sammy.

I admit, I stole the joke, but I once left a message for someone who worked for another County office, stating "Arrived Venice, streets flooded, please advise." It was Robert Benchley's gag a hundred years ago, and yet it still fooled someone in Towson, Maryland, 40 years ago.

Speaking of county employees, it seems that about half of the retirees have decamped for sunny Florida. Not I, and this is why. The closest we come to this beast is some of our larger mosquitoes.

This sign says "NO BIKE PARKING" in Dutch. So here are people scoffing at it in two languages. Meanwhile, the only Dutch word I know is "treat."

The water of the Pacific ocean created this arch in Maui. It took time, sure, but it's way to remind us to be patient with nature and with ourselves.

This will make a nice free wallpaper this week, especially for someone such as I who loves red barns, the older the better.

When you think about the creation of the universe (and you should!) remember that decision was made as to how many gills (or lamellae) should go under the head of a mushroom. 

A couple of drivers' test examiners are going to have great times at dinner if someone asks them if anything interesting happened at work today.

I think I'll call myself "Judge Knott"

The guy who got between me and my goal (the checkout line at LIDL) wanted to bend my ears awhile about how man disrespects God by thinking we are as smart as He is.

I don't think that. I don't even think I'm as smart as the Pope, but I saw no point in having a theological discussion with this guy, so I took a clever shortcut around him and started piling my goods on the belt.

He pulled out all the greatest hits ("God will not be mocked," "Judge not lest ye be judged") but he found no willing dialog partner in me. I was there for paper supplies, foamy hand soap, bacon, and toothpaste, and I paid for all that and scooted out the door. Loaded up the car and went to back up, and there stood a woman directly behind my car. I did that thing where you put it in park and back into reverse to catch her attention, but then I noticed she was intently listening to that same man. After he stowed his purchases, he took her cart and put it right in the middle of a parking spot. Together, they piled into their car and creaked off, presumably in search of more people to annoy.

Not the actual cart!

God never told anyone to leave their cart in the middle of the consarned parking lot, either. It's annoying that people who have so much to say about everything can't abide by the simplest of niceties.