When we see the word "vogue," we usually think it's a typo, and the writer meant to say "vague." There is a lot of vagueness all up in here nowadays.
Or you might think of Madonna, who used to be popular. 32 years ago she had a hit song called "Vogue," in which people are advised to strike a pose and wait for people to notice them.
Maybe "Vogue" reminds you of a woman's fashion magazine published by Condé Nast, in which a woman named Anna Wintour rules with a mighty hand over the Kingdom of Fashion and tells people what it's ok to wear. I recently sent an anniversary card to a polo shirt I bought in the waning days of the Bill Clinton presidency. It's khaki in color, and I wear it whenever the odds favor me getting some sort of goop - spaghetti sauce, creamed spinach, butterscotch ice cream topping - all down the front of me, because every stain comes out of this shirt with just a pre-wash squirt of blue Dawn dish detergent and a little marinating. I feel certain that even if I put the shirt out in the Goodwill pickup bag, the next day I would find it hanging on the front lamppost, all neatly laundered, ironed, and hanging on a hanger.
Or you might know about a little village in England named Vogue, but the chances are slim, unless you're from in the southwestern county named Cornwall. 4,500 people live in Vogue; it's the kind of town that used to be in the movies. Everyone knows everyone!
A man by the name of Mark Graham happens to own a pub there; it's called The Star Inn at Vogue. Not long ago he got a letter from Condé Nast that I suppose was meant to instill fear in him, but it didn't, since he had no idea who or what "Condé Nast" is.
The letter began:
“Dear Sirs,
Our company is the proprietor of the Vogue mark, not only for its world-famous magazine first published in November 1916 but in respect of other goods and services offered to the public by our company.”
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| An adz (woodworking tool) |
So you get the deal. The letter broadly hinted that people who don't know their adz from their elbow might think this Cornish neighborhood watering hole has some connection to a snooty fashion rag, and states that Graham should consider changing his bar’s name “to avoid problems arising.”
“My first reaction is that my customers were having a laugh,” Graham told The Washington Post.
But then Mr Graham Googled Condé Nast and saw that these purveyors of silly pictures of silly people wearing tarpaulins were a BFD - a big financial deal - that took in $2 billion last year because P.T. Barnum was right about how often suckers are born. That made Graham realize, “They were absolutely serious.”
Graham and his wife Rachel live above the pub; it's literally the nexus of their lives and has been for 17 years. Locals come for the ale and pie and stay for club meetings or to talk about football or knitting or whatever. It's a popular place among people who haven't the slightest idea what some American magazine thinks of their clothing.
For two weeks, everyone talked about this apparent shakedown, and then Graham wrote his reply:
“Whilst I found your letter interesting on the one hand I also found it hilariously funny on the other. If a member of your staff had taken the time to investigate they would have discovered that our company, the Star Inn, is in the small village of Vogue, near St. Day in Cornwall.”
He went on the tell the magazine people that the word "Vogue" has been in use for hundreds of years in the Cornish dialect, meaning a tin house. And he pointed out that Madonna did not seek his permission to release her hit record in 1990.
“In answer to your question of whether we would change the name of our company, it is a categoric NO,” Graham wrote, but he did invite the addressees to stop by for a beer and a free lunch.
On May 13, Condé Nast finally replied with a letter from an English staffer saying they were "grateful to learn more about your business in this beautiful part of our country.”
“I am sure you will appreciate why we regularly monitor use of the name VOGUE," wrote Christopher P. Donnellan. “However, you are quite correct to note that further research by our team would have identified that we did not need to send such a letter on this occasion.”
At first, Graham said he was still "miffed" (madder than "vexed," less mad than "irked") and called this whole thing a case of "a big multinational company trying to stomp on the little guy.” But then, along came a framed apology to hang up in the pub, and all is cool.
The Grahams and the letter that put everything right.
I often think of how much people like the CN executive who decided to hassle these nice innkeepers are paid to sit in offices and do foolish things. I'll let you know if they have any openings.
