Thursday, April 11, 2013


The manufacturers of the product I'm talking about here would want me to mention their name.

I had to see their commercial twice to believe I was seeing something so egregiously tasteless and passive-aggressive.  The scene takes place in a bathroom.  One woman says to another, "Where are your moist wipes?" as she disdainfully regards the roll of toilet paper hanging off the wall.

The woman whose hygiene supplies are in question here says she doesn't need them, believing as she does that toilet paper is quite enough.

The first woman can't let it go, and to make things worse she has one of those shrill squawky voices that could cut diamonds.  She uses this voice as she steps into the shower and reports that wiping one's behind with dry toilet paper is akin to taking a "shower" by wiping one's body with a dry towel.

To illustrate the point, she then takes a bath towel and rubs it all over her fully-clothed body.

Clearly agitated, the second woman steps up and turns the shower on, dousing the yakking harridan and - at long last - shutting her the hell up!

What did he say???
Again, I had to see this a couple of mornings in a row on the CBS Morning News, the show where you get to marvel at the charm of Norah O'Donnell while listening to Charlie Rose's stumbling mumbling drawl and hearing Gayle King explain the impact of every story on Oprah G. Winfrey, of television fame.  The first time, I thought it must be some sort of comic parody of a toilet paper commercial, but then I realized, this is CBS!  They don't have "Saturday Night Live," and they don't have too many comedy shows except for "Rules of Engagement" and "CSI:LA."

I'll not delve into the ins and outs of one's daily ablutions; we're all free to cleanse ourselves as we see fit.  Use tp, use moist wipes, use old catalogs or corn cobs as they used to in the outhouse era.  But truly, are there people out there who show up in their friends' bathrooms and grill them on what they use?

If there are, could someone get them to knock it off?  I'd be much obliged.

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