Rules for Beginners

I stumbled - figuratively - across an online article entitled "Ten Things to Never Say during Sex."  I quickly checked and so far, I am good.  You might want to finish reading this and then go over there and see how you and your sigoth are doing in that department.

(Your sigoth is your significant other; I read a couple of years ago that someone was trying to popularize that term.  So far, it has failed to gain a foothold in the American lexicon, but it's early in the game.)

The Irish guy at work, Mr O'Face

But just thinking about it, I came up with ten more.  Please remember, these phrases are guaranteed to make you sorry you ever said them.  Do not try this at home (yours or anyone else's)...

1 - Have you seen the remote?

2 - Have you seen the new neighbor down the street?

3 - When the pudding says Kozy Shack, do you feel comfortable eating it, knowing that they spelled 'cozy' wrong and feeling uncomfortable about any food prepared in a shack?

4 - Go ahead and start without me.

5 - I was reading an online survey and it looks like we are well below normal in several vital areas.

6 - The people at work always love hearing about this!

7 - I think I took the wrong pill.  Tylenol PMs are blue too, right?

8 - Should I just leave the money on the dresser?

9 - "And then, everyone hollered 'Jabroni!'"

10 - I think I hurt myself.


As always, contact your doctor.  Don't wait four hours; call now!