Sunday, April 14, 2013

Sunday rerun: I hope he gets out there and dances his Thessalonians off

Let me tell you something about people: we just can't seem to leave each other alone, yet we cry for individuality.

We stand at ballparks and sing about being the "land of the free and the home of the brave" and then we want to curtail the freedom of others.

We believe in compassion and fail to display any; we send our young people to fight for the rights of others and then suppress the rights of others while the fighting rages elsewhere.  We yammer endlessly about how our forefathers fought in the Big One to save the world for democracy, but we don't seem so wild about democracy here on our shores.

Here is the latest case in point:  Dancing With The Stars.

Now, in all honesty, I have never watched this show.  If there is nothing better to do at 8 o'clock than to watch Hines Ward or Bristol Palin stomping around, I'm apt to read a book.  That's my choice.

On the other foot, many Americans like to watch this show.  That's their choice.  And now, a group called One Million Moms has decided that including Chaz Bono as a contestant this year will bring down the level of America's mores to an unacceptable low.  Here's the pitch from their website, right next to the information about how you can send money to these self-righteous harridans:

Some families have already decided against watching Dancing with the Stars because of the skimpy costumes and provocative dance routines, but now they have gone too far! This year, not only are they casting Carson Kressley from Carson-Nation, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and How to Look Good Naked, but also transgender Chaz Bono- child to Sonny and Cher- from the documentary Becoming Chaz will be appearing in the show. Both are LGBT rights advocates and promote this destructive lifestyle. DWTS is helping them create visibility for the LGBT community.

This is completely unacceptable and Christians should not watch the show, no excuses! Kressley will be paired up with a female dancer, and since Chasity (sic), transformed to Chaz after her sex change in 2009, will also be paired with a female dancer.

I defy anyone, be they Christian, Druid, pagan, whatever, to read that last sentence and tell me it makes sense, syntactic or otherwise.  The next to the last sentence, you have to love for its no-holds-barred "Christians should not watch the show, no excuses!"  I love that sort of totalitarianism! That's what Grandpop fought for at Iwo Jima - the ability of a sub-group to tell the rest of the group what they can watch on television.  That's why great-grandpa sailed with Pershing to Belleau Wood and Chateau-Thierry, so one Christian could tell another Christian what's good for all Christians!  And history tells us that the battle cry in the Spanish-American War was not "Remember The Maine!" as some believe, but, rather, "You Can't Watch That!"

This whole issue comes down to two things, maybe three if you consider the possibility that ABC pays these dupes to stir up a tempest in a tea pot and publicize their show.  On a simple level, if these women can just for one damned minute stop thinking about Chaz's (left) right to be whatever the hell he wants to be, can someone predict that his dancing will be worth watching?  I have to figure - and I could be wrong - that his dancing will be much like mine in terms of grace, and the kindest description of my terpsichorean skills is that on the dance floor I look like the south end of a northbound horse.

But hear me, please, One Million Moms, you bitter haters, you:  if you don't want your kids to watch this show, that's your business, and later you can deal with how you warp your kids.  But who do you think you are to tell me what to do with my eyes?

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