And it's quite certain that he won't be playing for the Nationals, since this past Sunday, when he used his left hand to wrap itself around the neck of their star slugger Bryce Harper, as irritating a man as there ever was. The best pitchers never use their throwing arms for mundane tasks such as cutting celery or throttling outfielders.
It was a bad week for Papelbon. On Wednesday, after our Oriole star Manny Machado clobbered a home run to put the O's ahead in a game against the Nats, Papelbon threw a baseball toward Manny's head, and was suspended for that action. Then came Sunday, a lazy afternoon game for the Nats. Harper popped out to left field, and failed to hustle down to first. I mean, I could have beaten him in a footrace, although it would have meant having to drive to our nation's capital to do so, and the roads were still filled with papal stragglers. Returning to the dugout, Harper found himself publicly chastised by Papelbon for dogging it, and the two soon found themselves in a dugout tussle, or fracas, or donnybrook, or brawl, as it always says in the sports pages.
|"What do you mean? Of COURSE I love myself!"|