Today's the Day!

Check the calendar. I just know that today will be the day that the people who have been behaving so abhorrently of late will stop, sit down, put down their misspelled signs of illogical, ill-informed protest and reveal that the whole thing has been an elaborate ruse, or hoax, a prank, a series of practical jokes both orchestrated and broadcast by a network whose motto (Fair and Balanced) is neither!

As a child, I used to see things going on in the adult world and say, Oh, he or she is not really going to do/say/believe that, is he or she?

As in, why is it OK for an intoxicated person who lives up the street to drive a car down the street?

Why would a church discourage people from attending just because they are of a different skin color, while downstairs in Sunday School, the kids are singing "Jesus Loves the Little Children"?

How come when a teacher is wrong about something, he can't just admit that he was wrong about something? Why go through this foolish "The teacher is always right even when he's wrong" charade?

We're not really going to commit troops to a ground war in Southeast Asia, are we?

But then I reached maturity and put aside the questions of youth. I gave up my long-held belief that Allen Funt was going to step out from behind some curtain and say it was a great big Candid Camera stunt. Today, I just know that these people who so foolishly question the birthplace, the loyalty, the patriotism and the very decency of the man who was elected president less than two years ago - without the use of hanging chads and friendly Supreme Court decisions - the people who have their knickers in a twist over the Federal version of the statewide healthcare plan put in place in Massachusetts by a Republican governor, the people who scream about Nazism and socialism and totalitarianism and can define none of those terms, cannot identify their county councilperson, state delegate, US Senator or member of Congress, the people who said nothing when President Bush spent billions and billions of dollars on a feckless foreign invasion designed to injure and wound who now scream bloody murder about a health plan to heal the injured and the wounded, the people who will kill medical providers in the name of life, the galoots who holler out on the floor of Congress as if they were in the cornfield on "Hee Haw," the conspiracy-finders, the obstructionists, the geographically challenged who see Russia from their living rooms: I just know that today is the day they're all going to say, "What? You thought we were serious with all that? Come on, buddy boy, we was just a funnin' with ya!"

I'll believe that til the day I die.