Friday, April 2, 2010

Spice of Life

At last count, my little purple iPod was host to around 1200 songs, and yet there are times when there's nothing I can find on there that I feel like hearing.

Cable TV was the big deal when we got 34 channels. Now we get just short of a gazillion. Comcast is doing away with the FOX Reality Channel, not be confused with their news channel, the FOX Unreal Channel. It's been replaced with a National Geographic channel, bringing the total of National Geographic channels to 108.

By the way, when former 1/2 Governor S. Palin caterwauls about the "lamestream" media and is so thoroughly lionized by FOX, does she think that FOX is some little cable news access channel out of Burnt Toast, Kentucky?

But back to my point. Breyer's used to have four flavors of ice cream: Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry, and Vanilla/Chocolate/Strawberry. Now the amount of their flavors even exceeds the amount of felony charges facing Gary Coleman.

Satellite Radio gives one the chance to listen to whatever kind of music they like, pinpointed with precision to "narrowcast" to very specific audiences. So, if your taste in entertainment runs to Slavic folk ballads or Welsh sea chanties, just punch up your station, put on the authentic getup and hum along.

There are said to be just as many positions of attaining connubial congress as there are days on Charlie Sheen's calendar.

Go to any major intersection in Suburbia, USA, and you will see four restaurants, at least. McDonald's used to sell burgers and fries and cherry pies. Now they hardly even mention that stuff in their ads for salads and lattes and Chicken McBistro sammies, although if you ask nicely enough, they'll probably fry a Big Mac for you, if anyone knows where that big tub of sauce is in the back room.

Author William Saroyan said this:
“In the time of your life, live - so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it.”

To which I only humbly add that while flicking through the channel changer of life, picking out where to dine at the fountain of wisdom, and letting the song in my head be chosen by random shuffle: I should try to keep an open mind. So should you, I guess, but that would be up to you. There are trillions of ways to have your mind set. There was a time when I thought I hated stewed tomatoes. Now mac and cheese seems naked without it. No need to change our minds just for the sake of so doing, but why not save room for a different thought sometime? Just for once?

(Note: Offer does not apply to political opinions, marital fidelity and loyalties to teams, three sacred bonds we all hold dear. Examples of celebrity indictments and priapism for entertainment purposes only. Penalty for changing your mind back again too soon. Member, FDIC)

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