Most of us remember seeing Gomer Pyle running down Main Street in Mayberry, shrieking "Citizen's arrest! Citizen's arrest!" upon seeing Barney Fife make an illegal u-turn. (Gomer feared no retaliation; he knew he was about to enlist in the Marines anyway.) Spurred by this selfless example of good citizenship, I now turn over information about a crime committed by a dangerous criminal.
This is big. We're talking Federal charges here, to wit, violation of US Code Title 36, Chapter 10.
§176. Respect for flag
No disrespect should be shown to the flag of the United States of America; the flag should not be dipped to any person or thing. Regimental colors, State flags, and organization or institutional flags are to be dipped as a mark of honor.* (a) The flag should never be displayed with the union down, except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property. * (b) The flag should never touch anything beneath it, such as the ground, the floor, water, or merchandise. * (c) The flag should never be carried flat or horizontally, but always aloft and free. * (d) The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery. (emphasis mine)
Ladies and gentlemen, justice seekers of all ages, here is the criminal: Round her up!