Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Horehound cough drops!

On the one hand, I am so grown up that I can but shake my graying head in bemused detachment as people heap scorn on the balding head of Oriole manager Dave Trembley. I hear them on these sports talk radio shows, and Ron From Perry Hall and Howie From Arbutus question Trembley's intelligence and baseball knowledge. Well, Ron and Howie, the chances are that Dave From Lake Placid might know a thing or two about how the game ought to be played. I dunno for sure, but when the Orioles were hiring a manager the last time, did anyone from the front office call 411 to get the listing for Ron From Perry Hall or Howie From Arbutus to offer one of them the top spot in the O's dugout?

And you could look it up, but I'm fairly certain there is a rule that says the manager has to stay on or near the bench, and is not allowed out on the field to throw pitches, swing a bat or field balls batted by the other team. RFPH and HFA might wish to direct a certain portion of their vitriol toward the people in orange and black who are being paid a whole bundle of semolians to pitch, hit and field that old baseball.

Advice for Mr Trembley: look into existentialism. You are only responsible for your own actions. Mr Millwood threw a ball that someone hit over the fence. Mr Tejada failed to field a ball that someone hit toward third base. The entire team scored two (2) runs total in two (2) games this past Sat and Sun. None of this is the manager's fault. But it must be fun to call a radio show and vent.

On the other hand, now that I have demonstrated the mature, reasoned approach that (almost) three-score years on this earth have given me, I throw some yang on my yin long enough to direct the curious to a website that is known as a free online dictionary of English pronunciation. I refer to it often to avoid those embarrassing mistakes of pronunciation - when you use a word such as ''demimonde,'' it's crucial to say it properly - and, yes, I like to click on words not normally used in polite company just to hear the disembodied mechanical voice say them for me. You know that the announcer had to record all these one day, and you wonder how many takes it took for him to get a good recording of how to say "poophead."

Go ahead and click on it. You know you want to!

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