Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Driving Me Crazy

Saturday night in the Baltimore suburbs. Peggy and I had done the grocery-gettin', dropped a couple of loaves of cheese bread off at Mom's, looked around in the Ukazoo book store but came out empty handed, and then got on the I-695 Beltway for the ride home.

Just as we came off the entrance ramp onto the superslab, roaring up from behind us on the same ramp came a red Mustang. I was just merging into the right-hand lane when Mr Mustang swerved into the center lane, saw no chance to race off there, so he cut in front of my car to zoom away. He missed hitting us by about 1/16th of an inch. The last I saw of him and his stupid red jacked-up car with the big wide 60's-style racing stripes, he was eastbound and down.

Today, on the way home from work, after I dropped off my wonderful rider, I was in the left turn pocket to hang a Looie onto eastbound Putty Hill Avenue off Loch Raven Bl. (If anyone reads this in Montana or points west, and wonders what in tarnation a "Putty Hill" is, well, so do we.) Anyhow, I am sitting there listening to the tape of this week's "Prairie Home Companion", enjoying the amazing autumn air and the gentle breeze which stirs the soul of many when BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIE the light turns green and the woman behind me lays on the horn. There might have been an elapsed time of 1/16th of a second between the time the light changed and the time she tooted me.

Mr Mustang, I don't think there's a chance in Hades that you read this, or any other blog that does not feature nekkid women and salacious gags. I do not understand your culture at all, such as it is. The senseless speeding, the desire to win from society the attention that you so sorely missed out somewhere along the line, the total lack of regard for anyone else on the planet: all spell a rather negative outcome for you and anyone else in your axis. I pity you, but I also wish you were not driving anywhere. I wish you had to walk to get anywhere.

Ms Toot 'em, are you and your minivan in such an all-fired hurry to get home to do whatever that you have to start honking the instant the light changes? I mean, I know you have places to be...picking up the kids, home to cook dinner, committee meeting, whatever it is you are up to. I wish you could take a second to let life unfold gently around you.

Everyone's in such a damn hurry. And for what? Heaven knows whatever saloon that hot dog was careening to was going to be open for hours, and Ms Minivan...give me the time needed for my eye to see that light turn green and send a message through my brain to my foot to step on the gas and drive to someplace where people can just be peaceful and unselfish.

If that's what I want, I guess I'll just have to limit my driving to my own driveway for a while!

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