Wee Pause for the Dog Days

(big tip o' the Orioles cap to Snoshu's mom Jonie for pointing this one out to me!)
From the Associated Press:

Fla. man blames cat paws for child porn downloads

• Fri Aug 7, 8:29 pm ET

JENSEN BEACH, Fla. – Florida investigators say a man accused of downloading child pornography is blaming his cat. Keith Griffin of Jensen Beach is charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after detectives found more than 1,000 images on his home computer.

According to a sheriff's report Friday, Griffin told investigators that his cat jumped on the computer keyboard while he was downloading music. He said he had left the room and found "strange things" on his computer when he returned.

Griffin is being held on $250,000 bond in the Martin County jail. It is unclear if he has an attorney.

Well, Keith, you certainly have evinced a flair for the persuasive argument here. Surely, out of a nation whose population tops 307 million, you can round up a dozen good men and women and true to be your jury. Then you'll be free to go home and play your Ted Nugent "Cat Scratch Fever" CD all day long.

I don't know how it comes that we are always putting these things off on the dog or cat. "The dog ate my homework, the cat got into the Kelvinator and ate the rest of the caviar..." Seems to me, all that dogs and cats want to do is be your friend, either sit-in-your-lap style or pet-the-back-of-my-neck-for-an-hour style (dogs) or catch-the-occasional-fleeting-glimpse-of-me-as-I-regally-prance-about-the-house style (cats).

So don't drag them into your perverse porno lifestyle, be my advice here, Keithamundo. Best bet would be to hope you can get a Freudian/Jungian judge and blame it all on your mother and her inadequate methods of toilet training, because I hear that if you draw a five-to-ten bid in the cut, some of your fellow inmates will be doggedly determined to make your life less than purr-fect. They won't care how you're feline.