Saturday, August 8, 2009

Par For The Coarse

People often ask me how does it come that sometimes these blog entries are long and wordy, and sometimes they are short and breezy.

Well, it all depends on the news.

If there is something ponderous on the horizon that bears discussion by the learned heads upon whose wisdom we so heavily lean, I like to keep it short, allowing all the right nuts to be finished reading by noon, so as to tune in Rush Limbaugh and be told how to feel about things and what to say and how loudly to shout at town hall meetings, since that's the way we operate here in the good ol' US of A. We shout and we stomp our feet and carry a big stick and doggone it, if we don't like your religion or your foreign policy tenets, we are coming after you with our vaunted military forces. 'Specially if you got oil and all.

Note to composing department: in preceding paragraph, please be SURE to insert the word "wing" between "right" and "nuts" before we send this to Blogger for publication. Yikes!

Does he measure up to your expectations?

The other day, Rush, adipose as always, made some snide remark about whether Mr Clinton would take liberties with the two females whose freedom from North Korean jail he had helped arrange. Attaboy, Jeff* ! Make your ad hominem attacks when there is nothing bad to say about the man's actions! Go for the cheap, the scurrilous reference to indiscretions in the man's past. Good thing your history is so pristine Oxycontin that no man, woman or child could find fault with you made your maid buy you drugs.

Composing: again! with the poor editing! PLEASE be sure to remove the word Oxycontin and the phrase "made your maid buy you drugs" from the previous sentence prior to publication. Who in the world keeps hitting those wrong keys?

*Jeff Christie was Rush's radio name. He is not to be confused with DJ Jazzy Jeff, though. He should have called himself "Ty Malone" because that is what he truly, truly needs.