Monday, August 31, 2009

Mr Question Man

Hello! Mr Question Man is back on the case, this time posing a question I've long puzzled over:

Why does anyone care what anyone else is wearing?

First thing is the sheer and unremitting panic felt by certain members of the population when they go somewhere and someone else is wearing the same thing that they are wearing! I'd take that as a compliment and say, "Hey, look! It's the same t-shirt and shorts as I'm wearing! Small world! Small, and funny, and fine." But it's enough to make some people run home and change real quick.

Then you see the people who have gone to the mall or off to a convention to play Jumble (That Scrambled Word Game) and they have evidently pre-planned the wardrobes. Notice how often teenagers will be roaming the mall in packs of two, identically turned out! "You wearing your AĆ©ropostale tshirt and the jeans with the rips right where your knee replacement scar will show in 47 years?," is how I imagine the conversation. (I could be wrong.)

By the way, how come people flock to that store and no one even knows how to pronounce its name? I hear ARROWpostal and Air-uh-pahhhstil and I wonder how the name of a defunct French airmail company became the name of the place Where T-shirts Are To Be Bought. My shirts: Eddie Bauer; my pants, L.L. Bean. Easy to say, easy to pay.

And this worrying about what everyone else is wearing to a function? Why, now? If someone else feels like wearing overalls to a cookout and you're all in linen and lace, how is your life changed? Junior Samples looked like he had lots of fun at cookouts over the years. I betcha any amount of money he couldn't have cared less what anyone else was wearing.

Pretty much every day, I am clad the same: red socks, either khaki or dark blue chinos, polo shirt or button-down sport shirt, undershirt and appropriate undergarments. Not for me to stand and puzzle over which studded belt or encrusted sport shirt to wear. If something major is coming up, I will put on a tie.
Life is simple, since I am. Don't worry about what anyone is wearing, including yourself, as long as your whatsis is not a) cold b) hot or c) showing.

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