Crime is a horrible thing. But now we have reached the perigee in our ascent to greater heights. Some scoundrel(s), rakehell(s) or possible ne'er-do-well(s) have committed the ultimate offense.
They broke into Mr. Keillor's bookstore and ripped off his safe and 700 bucks.
I remain a death penalty opponent, but dag, this is pushing me to the edge of my opposition!
Round up the usual suspect(s)! "Books" McGee and "Erudite Earl" Cunningham need to account for their whereabouts on the night in question.
I am in contact with the Minnesota authorities. Maybe they'll bring one of those psychics in as a consultant. This is serious!
I bet when they get the guy, he turns out to be a scofflaw. Or a hooligan.