Ranting and Raven

Several weeks ago, two people were shot at Harborplace, the glitzy, glammy downtown shopping and eating district down by Baltimore's Inner Harbor to which tourists flock and spend money. So you can see why the mayor and the police commissioner about had a cow over that, and they promised all sorts of increased police presence to keep the area safe for all those big butter and egg men and their women who pack the harbor, especially on weekends, and for me, since I was last there in about 1986. I'm sure I'm about to go back any day now.

Anyway, leave me out of this; I don't go downtown. This fellow Tony Fein, who is trying to make the Ravens, stopped at H-place on Sunday evening for a bite to eat while waiting for his latest tattoo to dry (speculation on my part, admitted!) and was spotted by a security guard, allegedly part of a group passing a shiny object around. The guard did as he had been instructed; he called 911 to have a police check out his suspicion that a gun was being passed around.

The police came and asked Fein to stand up. Read all about it here in the arrest report as filed by city police. The cop told him to stand up, he refused, the cops ordered him to stand up and he stood up so he could knock the cop to the ground. Fein knew he didn't have a gun. All he had to do was tell the officer that it was a cell phone, that someone had made a mistake, but no, he had to get all testosterony and put a smackdown down. Smart move, Tony. For your efforts you got to go to Central Booking, where the city put you up for the night among the others arrested on another night in downtown Baltimore. I wonder if they still play the harmonica all low and mournfully while in the Graybar Hilton. The hoosegow. The pokey. The license plate factory.

My father was a very smart man. Among the advice that he doled out in easily-digestible doses were these gems: Never get your wife a present that plugs in to a wall outlet, and always do what a police officer tells you to do. If you're not breaking the law, it won't take long to make that obvious (right, Tony?) And if you are breaking the law, slide over, Tony. Another big dog's coming in for an overnighter.

This guy Fein served in Iraq before going to college. He's 27, a bit older than most rookies. I'd expect him to be smarter than most, too, but I'd be wrong.