Monday, May 18, 2009

Wrapped around her shoulders

Well, for those of you who were wondering, Ms Bristol Palin of Wasilla, Alaska, is now a high school graduate.

There she is above, in her glory, the proud owner of a 3.497 GPA (
"point zero-zero-something away from graduating with Honors!")

She gave up on that one too soon. "Point zero-zero-three" would have put her in Honorsville.

In keeping with the august dignity of the occasion of her commencement exercises, Ms Palin accessorized her crimson cap and gown with a homemade necklace comprising Blow Pops wrapped up with gift ribbon.

Also wrapping herself in glory this weekend was Rachel Alexandra, who took home the coveted black-eyed susan stole
(this is not really she, but it shows the flower drape on a previous winner) in the 134th Preakness. As the first filly to win the coveted second jewel of racing's triple crown® since 1924, she is now the apple of every horse racing fan's eye.

But that wasn't even the big news from Pimlico. We faithful viewers of the local tv news were deprived of one of our favorite stories ( as predictable as polar bears swooning in a heat wave and people wearing Steelers jerseys being banned from local bars while the Ravens play Pittsburgh), the one where local volunteers sort through the 185 billion
tons of beer cans, pizza boxes, broken discarded coolers, makeshift shelters, contraceptives, cell phones and wedding rings left behind by the rowdy infield crowd. In an attempt to make everyone in Baltimore stay home all day, race officials barred erstwhile infield celebrants from bringing in their own alcohol. Tomorrow, the guy who gets all the horses into the starting gate is going to walk around and pick up both of this year's tossed-away cans.

No comments: