What do ya know?

I think that one of the great copouts of our age is people saying, "I'm not voting; they're all _____" (fill in adjective of denigration.) Most popular adjectives? "Stupid","crooked" and "out to get us."

The current salary of the president of the United States is $400,000, plus expenses. Although that sounds like pretty doggone good bucks to both Joes (Sixpack and The Plumber), it's not really so much. Cindy McCain, popular trophy wife of Old McCain, and a beer baron's daughter in her own right, brought home more than 6 million semolians in 2006, the last year in which she had to pay taxes. In 2007, she reported income of $4.2 million, placing herself in line for a tax refund of almost $1 million. Instead of asking for a refund, she applied the excess tax payments to next year's bill. Sounds a lot like your 1040, doesn't it?


So, we have to figure that people don't run for president because of the money they stand to earn. You could earn that much as a rookie punt returner in the NFL, or by having the Avon franchise that includes Ci-Mac on its route. Even old McCain could earn more by doing other things, so it must be that people just want to do something good for the greatest country on earth.

But it was distressing to me to read that, while more than 50 percent of Americans knew that the Democrats have a majority in the House, only 42 percent could identify the secretary of state (Condoleezza Rice). Less than 30 percent could name the prime minister of Great Britain (Gordon Brown).

So, here are two ways to say to end debates with that pesky co-worker who corners you near the Mr Coffee and starts in with his or her monologue about how Obama is a Muslim devil, born in a foreign village and schooled by America-hating zombies from hell.

1. "Do you vote in every election?" If answer is no, then say, "Then you don't get to complain. One side!" And then make a lateral 90-degree hand motion like Cindy does when she's choosing a new facial tone or hair dye. If answer is yes, go to #2.

2. " You have a valid point...you should write to your U.S. congressperson" (or County councilperson, U.S. Senator, mayor, pick one.) "Who IS your congressperson?"

End of debate. Pass the Cremora, please.