It's the Cool Thing, #4

You are the director of a live televised sports event.


A quarterback throws an interception. After you show us the jubilant player who picked off the pass, it's the cool thing to show us the humbled quarterback sauntering off the field, head bowed, shoulders down.



Then, in short order when the intercepting team suddenly strikes for a touchdown, as soon as their guy crosses the goal line, you must cut at once to a shot of the forlorn quarterback, crestfallen and disconsolate.



Same deal for when a baseball pitcher throws a pitch that the opposing team's slugger deposits two counties away for a titanic clout - a tater, a Ruthian home run, a Ballantine blast, in baseball patois - as soon as the hitter touches the plate, quickly show us the pitcher on the mound. He'll generally be the guy removing his hat and wiping his brow with the sleeve of his shirt, facing in the opposite direction.



Similarly, as tonight, when Philadelphia won the World Serious, after seeing a few moments of jubilant Phillies rolling around, huggin' and a-slappin' (it IS the City of Brotherly Love), we were required to see shots of lachrymose Tampa Bay Rays, dressed in blue, watching the frenzied hubbub with clearly less zeal than their red-clad counterparts.



I wouldn't take that color contrast as any sort of harbinger of the outcome of next Tuesday.



Speaking of which - Old McCain - if I could have a minute of your time? You remind me of that old joke. No, I mean the one where the grandmother says to her granddaughter, "There are two words in your vocabulary that I wish you would not use. One is 'swell' and the other is 'lousy'."



To which the granddaughter replies, "OK, Granny, what are they?"



I'm here 'til Friday folks; try the veal. But can someone tell him that the word is "pundit," not "pundint"? And another challenge for him is "Millions." He keeps saying "MEE-yuns," as in "MEE-yuns of people are not going to vote for me."



And I can give you millions of reasons why.