Neither Have I

Speaking of people who are famous for wanting to be famous - junior division - Kim Kardashian is telling us on her blog that she never has had plastic surgery. Great. Kim Kardashian has a blog, so now no one will read mine.



I know how to fight back.



I have never had plastic surgery either. I've had metal surgery, in which they sawed my leg in half to install a knee replacement, but it did not land me on "Dancing With The Stars."



I've had spinal taps, arthroscopic surgery, cavities, clogged ears, been pecked by a rooster and bitten by a donkey, got knocked off my bike by a Great Dane, and had the croup, the grippe and the measles. I tell you this in the interest of complete disclosure.



Oh, in other Kardashian news, her dad's former client Orenthal J. Simpson is headed for the Ironbar Hilton for five-to-life.



I don't think he's ever had plastic surgery either.