Castles Made of Sand

It will look just like this again if I ever wax it.
I had to take my pickup in for routine 60,000 mile maintenance, and it wound up costing over $3100, so it looks like I will be spending the next several years behind the wheel of a classic unwaxed 2000 Tacoma. I guess it’s a gamble, but I just don’t feel like going in debt for a new truck and car right now, what with my looming patriotic obligation to bail out the capitalists of Wall Street and all. So we’ll spend a few dollars getting the old machines fixed up and see what happens. At the dealership - the outstanding Jones Toyota/ Scion/Subaru/Hyundai/Nissan/Chrysler/GMC/Tonka Dealer up the road a few miles, I was startled to see a 1971-or-so Chevy pickup sitting in the showroom. It looked immaculate, as you might expect a truck that old with only 39 miles on its odometer to look. Someone very smart bought that truck, likely for less than I invested in mine today, stashed it away through Watergate, MTV and Zubaz pants, and now they are asking $49,995 for it. And the only source of entertainment within? No GPS system to guide your trip, no MP3 player, no CD or cassette deck…just an AM radio. Still, someone is gonna buy it for the 50 thousand semolians they’re asking. Guys were hanging around buzzing on it like yellow jackets on a fallen Fuji apple. Another gold mine shot to heck. If only I had had the foresight to scoop up a vehicle or two 30 or 40 years ago and park them in an old barn, only to wheel them out when the price had peaked, I would be writing to you from the luxury condo at the beach I would own had I had the vision to snap up some beachfront property when the only living creatures interested in living there were sand crabs and sea gulls.


But I was wondering how it comes that cars today have such odd names. Do you really know the difference between an Acura TL and an Acura TSX? Was there an Audi A8 K before the A8 L model came along? And all these three-letter code names: Cadillac CTS, Chevy Malibu LTZ, Chrysler 300C SRT, Dodge Stratus SXT…in my puckishness, were I to find myself at the helm of a big automaking firm, I might be pleased to preside over the launch of the 2010 Hyundai BFD this time next year. And how about the Hyundai Sonata? Does it make you burst into song? The Nissan 350Z Enthusiast - does it fire you up with zest and vigor? Does your Suzuki Reno make you want to go to Nevada? On the other hand, how good and solid did it feel to tell the gang, “I’ll be around about 7...let’s hop in the Galaxie and go for a ride…” or the Impala, or the Belvedere or the Biscayne. Now, the best you can do is to say, “Why don’t you get in your Kia AMF and say ‘Adios, My Friend’? ” or something like it…