Wednesday, August 18, 2010

From my Old Farmer's Almanac

Truth to tell, I love almanacs and generally get a couple of them every year.  Peggy buys me the Old Farmer's Almanac and the Hagerstown Almanac, and I mooch a copy of the almanac that the Johnson Funeral Home on Loch Raven Bl hands out every autumn.  I'm usually there, anyway.

Now, I don't go for the weather predictions.  I mean, right now I'm sure the 2011 almanacs are printed up and are being shipped to the newsstands, lunch counters and magazine racks of America, all with a forecast for the weather for next July 4th weekend.  Meteorology being the science of educated speculation, it's enough for the local TV weather caster to be right about today and tomorrow.  Anything further down the line than that, and you can expect wide variance between what was called for (A) and what really occurs (B).  Then next week, they can call for B and you get A.  Or, vice versa.

Fig. A - what they call for

Fig B - What We Get                     

Again, this is NOT an exact science.  Do not blame your meteorologist if things don't come out just as she or he said they would! And if the 5-day forecast is so hard to get right, why in blue blazes would you figure that an almanac printed 305 days before the day you want to go to the beach with the O'Hoolahan family would get it right?  

The almanacs also show you when the sun will come up and go down on any given day - always helpful to know if you're planning to go fishing or repossess cars in the morning.

The great thing about the almanacs, to me, are the ads and the household tips. The recipes are always for something you wish your granny still made -  homemade root beer, pickle relish, pickles, mayonnaise, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it. 

The ads are for trusses and learn-to-throw-your-voice classes by mail and creams to make dogs stop scratching and folksy stuff like that.  Cigarettes, whisky, Volvos - all these exotic items wouldn't dream of advertising there.

But I wanted to share this with you... 
It's great advice from last month for anyone who wants to walk around all day and have people asking "Are you eating a banana?"  How many people are willing to schmear banana goo all over their shoes and "buff with a soft cloth"?  

That many, huh?

No comments: