The Thief of Bad Gags

- - Thank you, Lauren, for letting me rip off another quiz!

Is it ever too late to apologize? Why or why not?
Absolutely not. It's good for the soul, and one size fits all.

Do mistakes only harm your life? Or do they actually help? Why?
The only mistakes to regret were actions done out of malice. Honest efforts that fall short are still honest efforts.

Do you believe it is possible for someone to lose themselves?
Yes, and it's dangerous in certain sections of the city.

Honestly, does your mind focus on the past, present, or future?
I dwell in the past more than I ought to. It's because I don't know anything about the future, and I can't believe what's happening in the present.

When you say you don't really care, do you mean it?
I don't really care to answer this.

Is there anyone you can say you honestly hate?
"Hate" is a very strong word. "Like to see them boxed up, covered with syrup and dropped off on an anthill" is so much nicer.


Name a moment you felt you couldn't go on with your life.
Never had one and I don't think I will until the day when the Great Umpire calls me out at the plate. So to speak.

Have you ever felt you've fallen in depression?
Only when reading about the Great Depression.

All men are the same, all women are the same. Agree or disagree, why?
All generalities are ridiculous.

Honestly, have you ever purposely taken something or someone for granted?
I always took the leader of the Union Army for Grant.

Would you rather have a true best friend or a boyfriend/husband, why?
I've got them both all in one sweet person!

Would you date someone who had different religious beliefs than you?
People who spend a lot of time around me soon become deeply fervent in their prayers.

Honestly, have you built up your walls from the world yet?
I spend my life knocking down walls.

Your past experiences, did they just hurt you or help you?
"What's past is prologue" - William Shakespeare

Is there anyone you can say really understands you?
Just Peggy. Everyone else is stymied.

Before you love anyone else, love yourself. Agree or disagree?
It's The Greatest Love of All!


Do you believe everyone eventually ends up harming you?
Absolutely not!

Do you always talk your mind or keep your words inside?
I always erase any doubt that anyone anywhere wonders how I feel about anything.

Quick, randomly tell me a quote!
"Don't go away mad, just go away"

Do you think it's possible to be 'different'?
You're asking ME this?

Have you ever walked in the rain while crying?
Yes, but I let a smile be my umbrella.

What has you feeling the way you feel now?
I'm hungry; dinner was 12 hours ago.

Are you a believer in karma?
People who don't believe in karma now will later wish that they had.


Is there anything you want to say to someone? Or has it all been said?
Yes. You know the popular expression, "You do the math!" (denoting that something adds up, with just a moment of reflection)? I want to start saying, "You do the English!" I'll let you know how that goes.

Tell me a promise you've promised to yourself:
Lose weight, get in shape.

Was the person you last texted single?
Yes

Do you get jealous easily?
Oh no. I would hate to think so. I think jealousy is the worst form of human emotion, even worse than that Jesse James.


Who were the last people you saw besides from family?
My work family.

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Sam and Nancy, right next door.

How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper?
I'm glad he went on a diet, for his sake and for Mrs Pepper too.

Do you ever work out?
Used to. Wish I still could, but it's tough when no matter what you do the pain shoots down my back and leg.

Do you go to the tanning bed on a regular basis?
If God wanted me tan, he'd have named me George Hamilton.

Does your bedroom need cleaning?
It's neat as a pin at all times.

Flowers or chocolate?
Neither, really.

Pretty Woman or Sixteen Candles?
Hint: Long Duk Dong!

Sushi of choice?
Sushi Q!

Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex?
Yes.

Are you comfortable with your height?
Yeah, the view is great from up here.

Anything on your walls?
den walls: Oriole/Ravens memorabilia, old photos, shadow box.

What do you bite more, your tongue, lip, or cheek?
I tend to gnaw on my tongue while sleeping.

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
Iced tea


Do you have a box where you keep all your important things?
I think there are like 150 of them


Most memorable thing that's happened to you over the summer?
It hasn't even started yet. I'd say the merciless, relentless, searing heat, wilting even the strongest among us, is something I can't forget.

Are any of your friends taller than you?
No. At 6'5" I tower over most people. I know if you clean the top of your refrigerator.

Ever liked someone whose name started with a B?
Bea Benadaret, Bob Brady and the Con Chords, Bobb B. Soxx and the Blue Jeans, Bebe Neuwirth.

Have you ever been on a motorcycle?
Yes, back in the restless days.

Where was the last place you were when you got sick?
It's always at home. Hmmmmm.