Double-D disappointment

If you're a regular in supermarkets, as I am (around here, the big chain grocery ads say "Dear Mark," in the upper left corner) then you get to see the tabloid ragmags that vie for space by the checkout counter with Dentyne gum, Zagnut bars and cigarette lighters.

The thing that gets me - and I know that in the big scheme o' things, this is not worth being gotten by - is the level of interest in this stuff. Even if you admit that people will always be interested in performers, actors, singers, comedians, that sort of thing...why is there an interest in non-performers?

As in, when I flip past Entertainment Weekly (as fast as I can!), why are they talking about the British royal family? What does that Opie-looking Prince William have to do with entertainment?

As I writing this last night, I checked to see what sort of stories they have planned for tonight's big show. Among them:

Joran van der Sloot: 'I Was Tricked' Into Murder Confession

Report: Prince Harry's Girlfriend Chelsy Davy to Move Out of London amid Breakup Rumors

and of course:
Jon & Kate Gosselin: Who Gets the Kids?


Now, we've talked about Kate Gosselin before. She and her hapless hubby have taken the country by its ears and shaken their way into our consciousness. Back when their show Jon + Kate + Eight = 10 was still on, people would ask me if I saw what they were up to the night before, and go on and on about what wonderful people they must be, to be willing to allow 27 cameras in their house to get video of everything that happened inside.

But these people are not entertainers! What do they do that holds the interest of so many? Lookie here a second: "Kate Gosselin Boob Job Shocker." There are people breaking their necks to buy this magazine to read about whether or not Kate Gosselin has fake frontage. And I aver that any job that has anything to do with KG is a boob job.

In Baltimore, people are talking about Jenna Bush Hager. She lives in south Baltimore. Her husband works for the electric company and you remember her father; he was president under Dick Cheney. But someone stole her bicycle and her husband's bicycle from the garage at their house! And it's on the news because...she is famous. She does reports on the Today show, and you wonder if she will cover this big caper. I'm not saying this should have happened, but it should have been foreseen. Downtown is a rough, tough district, and it's a good idea, if you own anything that is worth more than the price of a good lock, to attach that good lock to a good chain and hope it holds.

Meanwhile, back on TV, people are watching a woman who calls herself Snooki and a man who goes by the nickname of The Situation.

I don't know how much more I can stand.