Friday, June 11, 2010

So SAD


You know that malady known as Seasonal Affective Disorder, where, when the days get short and dark and dreary in December, some people have to run around with special heat lamps and appliances to make them think it's August?

Do you think there's a name for when you have it in reverse? As in, when it's cold, and rain is spitting in your eye, and the visibility is about nil and you have a chill and people are diving into diners to get soup and hot coffee...and that's the weather I love! And where is the special "Cold lamp" for me to use in August? Sure, I can take a cold, clammy shower and then hang around the garage for the darkness, but it's not quite the same as a REAL December day!

I never did care for too much sun; I don't tan easily any more. When I was a little tacker I would be wizened from the sun by mid-May and be a nice tan color all summer long. Today, if I'm out there for more time than it takes to walk down to the mailbox, I'm seared and blistered for weeks, all itchy and scratchy.

And the sun bothered my eyes before I had the cataract surgery. It doesn't bug me so much any more, but they gave me a perfectly good pair of Elvis-style big eye sunglasses, so I wear them.

I am a supporter of the underdog. I still either watch or listen to most of the Orioles games. Why not? They're my team, and just because they are not such a good team, there's no need to kick them down.

If there's a Burger Chef right next to McDonald's, I'm up for a Big Chef to go (if this were 1974.)

I rush past Tom Clancy books to read Tom Wolfe, I've never given up beer in favor of classy wines, and I watch as many shows on the CW network as I can, just to avoid the crowds.

So the other day during my physical, when I told the doctor that I have reverse-SAD...he furrowed his brow and made a notation on my chart. And that's like a Permanent Record Card!

You don't think that meant anything, do you?

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