Sunday, October 31, 2021

Sunday Rerun (from 2018): The Whole Tooth

 Every now and then, we see someone so seized with Holiday Fever that they do something they will regret later. Not much later, in most cases.


Like the guy who chooses the office Christmas party to tell the boss what he really thinks about some of the boss's rules and regulations...or the one who decides to plant a big smackeroo on the new coworker from Accounting.  Both of these failed plans usually come after a few sips of the dew, as they like to say, and both of them will make for sadness later, not to mention unemployment.

And the legends always sprout about the guy who cuts a hole in his ceiling so he can display, in all its yuletide glory, a 12-foot Christmas tree in a ten-foot living room.

And the less said, the better, about people who get "Super Bowl Champs!" tattoos saluting their favorite team before a game their team goes out and loses.

Now comes a warning from Mobile County, Alabama, telling us not to glue fake fangs in our mouths if we are going for Halloween as a vampire.

After Anna Tew spent three American dollars to add the phony choppers to her outfit, she came home from the revelry and went to brush her real teeth, and couldn't pry loose the store-bought fangs.

Halloween night was ruined for her. In fact, she was up until 2 AM with wire cutters and other home tools trying to remove the man-made molars.

At length, she sought professional help, winding up in the chair of Dr. John Murphy at Alabama Family Dental. Dr Murphy told WKRG TV that sometimes, imitation eyeteeth can stuck because of the natural shape of our real teeth and gums.

“He talked about drilling. They had a saw, talked about taking them off in sections, and they couldn’t numb it because they were scared they would actually pull my teeth out,” Ms Tew told the news outlet. “So he went in and picked and pulled and I squealed like a baby and they got them out.”
Anna Tew said her efforts to remove the fake teeth went on until around 2 a.m.
Demonstrating that there's no lesson like one hard-learned, Tew says she will never again use simulated teeth for comic effect.

“I will never do it again,” she told WKRG. “I will never put anything like that again in my mouth.”

Good, because she was really gonna play hell eating corn on the cob next summer.

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