Friday, February 17, 2017

Hello Goodbye

This one is even more personal than most, but I'm sharing it to help us all understand.

I was good friends with another person since 1973.  Let's call that person "X" as in ex-friend now.  Because.

Image result for 1973 kojak
Nothing says "1973" to me
like Kojak
X and I worked in the same field and had dozens of friends in common, and we often talked of work stuff but also family stuff and medical friends will do, over the years.

I might add, never a harsh word passed between us over the years, all 44 of them.  And there were times that we each achieved successes and had good things coming our way, and just the same, we each had our turns in the barrel as well as in the sunshine.

So, you get the picture: a fair friendship of many decades.

In late January, X texted me to complain about a coworker, and we went back and forth on that topic and then moved on to "how are you doing?" and such.  X is single, having suffered that most awful loss of a spouse to death years ago, and still despairs of love ever returning.

When I tried that night to offer words of reassurance, I was met with hostility for the first time ever in our relationship, about how the hell do I know what it's like to lose someone like that. Well, no, I can't empathize, not ever having been there, but I sympathize. I want everyone to love and be loved, especially a friend of many years.

Well, within a few minutes, everything went way south, and as much as I tried to say I was feeling that pain for X, X was having none of it and said "I think I need a timeout from you" and boom, hit that unfriend button and walk away.

And then...I remembered so many times I saw X boast of how fast friends would be unfriended for daring to share a contrary opinion. We never disagreed on a political matter, but those who did, and said so, were banished from X land.

And then...I remembered how many times on the phone X would denigrate other people for whatever reason and say they were no longer to be spoken of, or to.

And then I realized that X does not like to be happy, and is doing everything possible to remove any trace of it, and that none of this has anything to do with all of us banished to the Island Of Former Friends.

It's a funny world. Someone oughta sell tickets.

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