Thursday, October 20, 2016

This isn't what they mean by "Locks Of Love"

It was popular in Paris, so let's try it here, n'est-ce-pas?

Of course, a section of a bridge fence in Paris buckled because of it.

"It" is the odd practice of attaching a padlock to a bridge to proclaim the lasting love between two people. Now, I'm not one to predict whose love will last and whose will come unlocked, but really. Many a relationship ends before a good Master lock will rust and fall off.

As I say, this is popular in Paris and New York, but I haven't heard about it happening here in Baltimore, where we use our locks to keep our bikes, sheds, and grills secure instead.  

Does a young couple take a moonlight stroll down to the bridge, gaze into each other's limpid orbs, and say, "Darling...I feel so desperately in love with you...and I feel that you feel the let's go to Locks Locks Locks, buy a lock, and attach it to the closest bridge!"

Or, maybe it happens a lot in June, when everyone brings home their gym locker lock when school is out.

"(Each lock) costs the city real money in terms of sending our personnel out there to remove them," New York City Dept. of Transportation Commissioner Polly Trottenberg told a newspaper there. "It’s a lot of extra work."

Sending someone to the bridge with a pair of bolt cutters does tend to add up, cost-wise.  Last year, it added up to $116,000.

So the city will now be slapping a $100 fine on violators of the new ban forbidding slapping a padlock on the Brooklyn Bridge.

Pay it, or get...locked up.

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