I stumbled over this list on a site called "edating.com" because it was on the other end of a link advertising a list of questions to "keep the conversation going." For shy people, it must be the hardest thing on earth to spark a conversation into a roaring blaze of chatter and laughter and promises of future conversations. "What am I supposed to talk about?" they ask, standing there with their phone in one hand and someone's phone number scrawled on a torn piece of paper.
Well, let's look at the list! some of you are saying, along with my idea of the answer you hope to hear:
Do you have any crazy internet dating stories? Hope for "not really" because a Yes might involve more weirdness than you're ready for
What is your most embarrassing moment? Hope the answer has nothing to do with "this one time, at band camp..."
Best way to relax? Please say, "Sitting around reading quietly!"
Favorite movie star? If it's Johnny Knoxville, good. Keanu Reeves, not so much.
Dog or cat? Can't go wrong with either.
Do you exercise? Best done alone...sweating on dates is just wrong.
What is the weirdest thing about you? Keep your fingers crossed that the answer to this does not involve any sort of implant or after-market body part.
Favorite all time movie? Look for anything with Die Hard in the title.
Beer, wine or coffee? Two out of three ain't bad~
If you could retire tomorrow what would you do? Hope that the answer to this is outside the realm of being a South American military dictator.
Super powers you wish you had? You want to hear "Levitation" and "transmutation of water into beer"
What would you do with your lottery winnings? Listen closely for your name!
Are you neat? If the preceding answer contained your name, disregard this question!
What is one food you will never give up? If they say cous-cous or hummus, you're golden, because you don't want any of that, right?
What compliment do you usually get that doesn’t have to do with your looks? Ok now about your looks. Look for "everyone talks about how generous I am and how I'm willing to overlook little faults in others." About the looks, if they say "I'm often mistaken for (Mila Kunis/Bradley Cooper)," no more questions needed!
Do you have a nickname? Ever had one? Run, if it's "Skankface"
What’s one thing that if your mom knew about you, she would freak out. "That I finally forgave her for making me wear auxiliary underwear all through high school" is a definite deal-breaker.
If Hollywood made a movie about your life what would it be rated and who would be the star? Who cares about the rating as long as the name "Mila" or "Bradley" comes into play?
Tell me a secret. You're on your own here...
Do you like the taste of beer? Tricky. If it's "yes," good. If it's "I don't care for it, but let them take it who choose to do so." is also good, but "Only the worst type of human would drink a beer" means run for it!
Do you have any tattoos? If it has the names of 7 or 8 previous lovers inked over, that might be cause to keep a-lookin'.
Do you have any piercings? Anything is cool except a pierced thorax.
Do you work out? You want "toned," but not "so musclebound as to be unable to walk right"
If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go? "My getaway in Afghanistan" might be a problem.
Play an instrument? Banjo, accordion, guitar, drums, saxophone are all winners.
Good luck, diving into the dating pool!