Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Either way

I can't stay up until midnight to see how the politicians, lobbyists and lunatics that populate the nation's capital decided to handle the looming government shutdown.  You'll notice the word "looming" for being one of those "news words" that you only hear if you listen to the news.  I mean, did you ever hear Pete down the street saying that he felt that a fiscal crisis was looming in his household, given the children's propensity for watching pay-per-view Wrestlemania events on cable?

Other "news words"? - "Shots rang out," "the blaze roared out of control," and "Security was beefed up."

But anyway, let's do this.  If you woke up this morning and the government did in fact shut down, read this:

Millions of Americans are waking up this morning to the awful spectre of a government that's out of business on this, the first day of the new fiscal year.  Congress has the Constitutional responsibility to ratify spending bills that keep the government in operation.  Essential services such as the mail delivery, the armed services and airport and border security will go on as before, but national parks, postal services such as passport applications, and processing small business loans are activities under suspension until Congress and the White House can reach accord on the budget.

And if sanity prevailed at the last minute and the ship of state resumed its standard course, here's your story:

At the last minute as the clock approached midnight on the morning of the first day of the new federal fiscal year, Senate and House conferees reached agreement on a federal spending bill that will keep the government in operation, avoiding the first shutdown of government services since a 21-day lapse in the winter of 1995-1996.  The battle over the Affordable Care Act, the stumbling block in the negotiations, will resume shortly, but for now, the nation can let out a huge sigh of relief.

Just because it's better to look at them than to see John Boehner.
Charlie setting Robbie straight
And of course, as much as I love watching Norah O'Donnell in the morning, that enjoyment is always tempered by having to see politicians being interviewed, which is why I DVR "My Three Sons" every morning.  It's cool.  They're up to the Robbie and Katie have triplets episodes these days, which reminds me, if Congress had an Uncle Charlie, this nonsense would end today.

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