Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Orville and Wilbur Wrong

Drunks on the plane (drunks flying the plane.)  Flight attendants going berserk and then deploying the emergency evacuation chute, and then sliding down that chute on their way to unemployment.  TSA people who check you out on the way to the plane stealing laptops and iPads and anything else they can get their sticky fingers on.  Lost luggage.  Stolen luggage. Landing gear comes down, but backward.  Air traffic controllers are sound asleep in the middle of the day and fail to notice that two gigantic airliners are about to come within 10 yards of each other in the sky over the airport.  It rains in Chi or Atlanta, so your flight from Baltimore to Boston is delayed until Tuesday.  United Air Lines has a computer glitch that knocks out ticketing and boarding operations all across the nation. A flight attendant argues with another flight attendant over whether the second will turn off her cell phone, resulting in a FOUR-HOUR delay.  Alec Baldwin holds up a planeload of fellow travelers while he completes an exciting game of Words With Friends with his friend.

For these and many other reasons, the only way in hell that I will take a plane will be if Capt Sully Sullenberger comes out of retirement to fly it.  Otherwise, you go ahead and try to fly, and wave to me if you ever get off the ground!

3 comments:

Bert van Lokhorst said...

Flying is unpleasant enough, now that everybody does it and it is so crowded outside and inside the planes.
Since I left work I have not boarded an airplane anymore.
It may be the safest transportation mode, but I stay healthiest by steering far away from it.
So I completely share your sentiments.

Mark said...

Hi Bert! Some years ago, we went to Florida for my nephew's wedding...1,000 miles away. We rented a van and drove through the South and enjoyed all the local scenery, cuisine and wonderful people that those flying always miss!
Always nice to hear from you!

Mark said...

Hi Bert! Some years ago, we went to Florida for my nephew's wedding...1,000 miles away. We rented a van and drove through the South and enjoyed all the local scenery, cuisine and wonderful people that those flying always miss!
Always nice to hear from you!