Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Under Full Sale

What I've always loved about American commerce is that it just does not stop.  Grocery stores are open all night long, so in case you need Mrs Fanning's Bread and Butter Pickles at three in the yawning, you can just throw on a hoodie and slide on over to the Stop, Slop and Shop and get a Valu-Size jar of briney cucumbers.  7-11 should have changed their name to 24-7 years ago.  And should you feel like getting the car lubed and waxed early on a Sunday morning, you can be sure that some friendly shop will be glad to take your car in and show you to a nice seat in their luxuriously-appointed waiting room.

So it's only natural that televised commerce ceases not for any purpose.  QVC, which is a channel for people who can't be bothered to go to a mall when they need flannel sheets, is another fountain of sales, and when a pitchman notices that his sidekick is suddenly indisposed, well, by golly, he's just bound to ignore that and keep on selling tablets.

The other day on QVC, Dan Hughes was on air along with Cassie Slane, and Cassie suddenly lapsed into silence, clutching her chest.  Instead of being Gallant about it, Dan went all Goofus, rattling off his spiel while someone else summoned help for his colleague.

He hopes they did, I guess.

Turns out, Cassie had a blood sugar issue that resulted in a fainting spell, but Dan showed what mattered most in a time of medical emergency.

Keep on selling those fake iPads, there, Dan.  Commerce takes no holiday for the ill and the weak.

I think I'll change the name of this blog to "What the Hell IS it with people?"

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