Thursday, September 13, 2012

Stuck on you

Paul Harvey used to call them "bumper snickers," but that was in the day when cars and trucks had real bumpers.  You'd drive along and the guy ahead of you had "I LIKE IKE" or "84 LUMBER" on his rear bumper, and you got the message (whether or not you wanted to.)

Then they took to covering the bumpers with some sort of plastic, so there is no chrome to which to affix your sentiments.  And without a clear target, we've gone crazy.  Bumper stickers are all over the back of the car, the side of the car, sometimes all over the entire car.

If you'd like to, google "images" "bumper sticker" and see the 53,200,000 results.  It's a stunning photo array.

There's a theme here, but I'm not sure I get it.
Anyway, cars are now covered with slogans, mottoes, salutes and suggestions.  We use magnets too, and only recently have we found that these magnets, after a couple of years of baking and freezing to the metal, are harder to remove than the stickers. 

My question is, why do we go out and pay $30,000 for a new Excommunicator XL350, and then gum it up with "My kid skateboards better than your honor student"?   I see people babying their cars at the car wash, lovingly swabbing the hood and roof with baby shampoo and a real chamois, and then toweling it off with imported cotton diapers, finishing it off with a carnauba paste wax, buffed to a high sheen with a brush made of gnats' eyelashes.  And then they run down to Aut-O-Mart and get a sticker that says,"HORN BROKE - WATCH FOR FINGER"

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