Yesterday, I had to get a new printer/scanner/copier/toaster/deep fryer for the computer. I think I told you this: Windows Vista is all snobbish and everything, and regarded my 2002-model scanner and printer as being relics of the Pleistocene era, if not earlier.
So we got a new one - birthday
gift from Peggy to me - and I go to hook it up and what do I find in
place of written, clear, step-by-step instructions? The deadliest form
of information to me: the pictograph.
You know what? I think
that if all Adam had to go on was a pictograph, you and I never would
have been born. I for one need words!
Take fig. "A" here: this
is an instruction sheet - an thumbnail sketch, if you will, from IKEA,
showing how a man can upturn a bar stool and trim his thumbnail, using a
screwdriver. Or, it's showing how to loosen the seat part so that the
noisy guy from his office will take a laughable pratfall at the next
office happy hour at O'Herlihy's Ye Olde Ale House, which will be
followed by a sternly-worded memo from the big boss on the following
Fig. "B" is
an ancient Sumerian hieroglyph, showing how best to plant a tree, using
one's hand, a rake, and some Hot Pockets ®. If you think this led to
successful crops, well, have you had any postcards from Sumeria lately?
Anthropologists have finally decided, after years of fierce bickering, that fig. "C" is
an Egyptian guy's shopping list. It would appear that he needed to
stop off at the Nile-O-Rama and pick up some asterisks, eye drops, a
fish for dinner, toothpicks and gummy worms. He didn't get to the store
after all, as he suffered a rupture trying to carry a stone tablet
around in his toga. Toga. Toga!
I finally got the printer
printing and scanning but it took longer than it should have. Words
might have helped. A thousand of them would have saved me from looking
at the picture of where the print cartridges went, or was that a picture
of the filtration system at Grand Coolee Dam?
Dam if I know.