Saturday, April 2, 2011

First the news, then the lesson

News item:

ATLANTA (AP) -- Hall of Famer and Atlanta Hawks television analyst Dominique Wilkins was attacked by a spectator after the team's victory Wednesday night over the Orlando Magic, the team said.
According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the spectator -- 36-year-old Rashan S. Michel, of Atlanta -- has worked as an NBA and college basketball referee.
Wilkins is also a vice president with the team. He had just finished working Atlanta's 85-82 victory Wednesday night from his customary spot on press row when the alleged incident occurred at Philips Arena.
Team spokesman Arthur Triche says the spectator was "promptly arrested and taken into custody by the Atlanta police department." Wilkins was not injured.
The Journal-Constitution reported late Wednesday night on its website that Michel was arrested and charged with one count of simple battery, according to Officer K.Y. Jones with Atlanta police.
Michel, who told police he was owed money for suits purchased several years ago, hit Wilkins in the chest and also hit a security guard, Jones told the newspaper.

NOW the lessons:
a) Dominique Wilkins stands 6'8" and his playing weight was 224 lbs.  One can only assume that he has beefed up somewhat since his 1999 retirement, which followed 17 years of playing in the Nat'l Basketball Ass'n. If you feel yourself to be in his debt, it would probably be more effective to take matters up with his legal representatives, who are more in the 5' 9", 160 lb. bracket.  Think also of how the judge would have chuckled had you filed a SUIT over some SUITS!  And now you're wearing an orange one.

2) If you first and middle names joined together to give you the initials "K.Y." then you should just call yourself "Kenny" or whatever the K stands for, or else people will laugh 'til they're in a jelly.  Just sayin'.

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