Ay Caramba!

Attention, patriotic Americans!  Now you, too, can join the hue and cry to cut down on wasteful Washington spending.  With noted humanitarians such as Paul Ryan and John Boehner down there cutting expenses to the boehn, it's up to every one of us to search out and report unneeded, unnecessary and unwanted repetitions and reduncancies, and things that do the same thing that something else is doing, and things that say the same thing over and over again, and things that say the same thing over and over again.

So sorry if you were planning to avail yourself of wasteful, unwanted programs such as Medicaid, Medicare, Planned Parenthood and NPR.  The money previously doled out to them is now going to be directed to more appropriate purposes, namely, purchasing diamond-studded shoelaces for all military staff above the rank of Chief Cook and Bottle Washer, and  hiring pixies to place a mint on Newt Gingrich's pillow each night around twilight time.  NPR? All they did was inform and educate! We don't need to know nothing!  And who needs to plan when they're going to be parents?  With no NPR to listen to, just listen to your children!  They will teach you a lot about a lot of things!

Meanwhile, cast a gander here with your web pointer and see how the FBI has spent your tax money over the years.  They have now opened their files so that avid students of popular culture can see that John Denver might have had drug problems, that Paul Harvey was a good, self-made man, and that Lucille Ball supported a Communist in 1936.  This website is awe-inspiring, to think that that many people spent that much money and that much time to gather that much needless information.  And all they had to do was ask Desi Arnaz, who was not only Lucy's TV husband Ricky Ricardo but also her husband in real life.  He said, when all this "who's a Commie?" nonsense was going on in the 1950s, "The only thing 'red' about Lucy is her hair, and that's not even real!"