Friday, December 24, 2010

The Tennessee Titan

I received a message from a resident of Soddy Daisy, Tennessee, and of course I was fascinated to learn more about a town with such a fascinating name.  Turns out the town, a suburb of Chattanooga, was formed in 1969 when the towns of Soddy and Daisy merged to form a larger town (2000 population: 11,350).  You just wonder, though: certainly native Soddimians are proud of their town, and consider it superior to the storied land of the Daisyites.  And then those with Daisy roots probably rue the day that new Soddy was brought into the garden. If it's anything like my fair Baltimore, where neighborhoods are ranked, not to mention rankled, by the tiniest demographic shift, there are those who still wish the merger had not taken place. 

Wikipedia lists the notable residents of Soddy Daisy as just one person: the virtually-edentulous Basil Marceaux, who has run for office  - almost every office - on an interesting platform that requires all citizens to be armed, forbids police from making traffic stops "except for moving violations when the cars are stopped" (?), and would force all high school students to read the minutes of the Congressional Record.  And, addressing one of the key issues facing Tennessee voters, Basil has come out foursquare in support of banning all US flags with gold fringe.

Marceaux made a video that Jimmy Kimmel played on his show, but since it was not The Man Show, I did not see it.  Millions did, however, and it made ol' Basil an internet sensation, notwithstanding the fact that Basil says it's hard to understand what he says, since he has but three teeth.

"If I knew it was that easy, I would have made one a long time ago," he said of the campaign video. "I've been fighting for a long time to become somebody important, like a mayor or a governor.

"I run for anything where I can be in charge." 

We can all look forward to the day when the Basil Marceauxes of the nation are leading us toward our manifest destiny.  With them in charge, let us proceed onward to a new day in America, when everyone will be toting a pistol (at least), children will be conversant with the tear-filled words of John Boehner, and no flag shall offend our eyes with fringe.
Basil Marceaux Notable Quote:
Basil finished fifth in a five-person Republican gubernatorial primary in August, garnering a whopping 0.5% of the vote.  His chances were probably diminished when the local paper reported that in 2005, he had been found not guilty by reason of insanity in seven various traffic charges.

Touch up Nathan Lane's hair with a little grey, and he can play the lead in the story of this man's life!  Or Rip Taylor, whatever.

No comments: