Friday, November 26, 2010

Hey Leo, Man!

Well sir, with all this hooting' and hollerin' about airport patdowns and body scans, I don't care to get in the air and I don't plan to get on a plane.  Although, I did hear someone say the other night, two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make a plane.  F. & A. Wright!

But I'll tell you who WAS on a plane last Saturday night; it was the King of hard-luck travel, Mr Leonardo DiCaprio, whose previous adventures convinced many a person to avoid cruise ships.  Apparently heeding his own advice, Leo was jetting out of New York on Saturday night when the plane he was on had some sort of engine trouble, and the plane returned to Kennedy Airport, to be met by a hundred firefighters, ready to handle the situation. 

According to the story I saw, Leo was flying to Moscow to travel eventually to St Petersburg for a Tiger Summit. 

No, not that Tiger.  This is about saving the four-legged variety.  I had no idea there was a problem, but I guess we can be glad that Leonardo and Vladimir Putin can hold this international seminar to help out.  It just must be pretty cool to be able to say, "I have to go to Russia now and help save tigers from extinction." 

Hey, later on I have to stop at Big Lots and see about Christmas gifts!  I know Peggy has been wanting one of those electronic nutcrackers and the gallon-size tub of bath salts.  I notice that for all these salts, lotions, gels and goos, one scent is never enough.  You can't just have something that smells like "apple" or "coconut."  There must be at least two fragrances, which is why we have "Coconut Lime Verbena" and "Honeydew Vanilla."  Someday, some smart guy or woman will realize that what we really want is a candle that smells like a Cheesesteak sub or a tray of nachos.  We can only hope.

But I don't know if I'd like to be on a plane and hear the intercom come on:

"Ahhhhhhhhhh this is your Captain, Glenn Quagmire, ahhhhhhhhhh we are uh having a little bit of engine trouble ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh we're just gonna turn this bird around and put 'er down at Kennedy ahhhhhhhhhhhhh be just a few minutes.  I'm ahhhhhhhhhh going to ask the flight attendants to uh go over the instructions as we prepare to go down. Giggity."

Then to look and see the guy in the next aisle is that guy from Titanic!  We're staying home.  Auburn plays Alabama on today!

Roll Tide!

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