Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I Used to Use "Al Catraz" for a Fake Name

This Bernie Madoff thing...his lawyer tells NBC that Madoff should have received leniency because he COULD have taken it on the lam, but instead, he turned himself in. OK, good point, take 5 years off his sentence and make it 145 years of being someone's prison punk. Hope he likes it a lot, and I hope he lives a long long time. Bernie...you see the word "penitent" in "penitentiary"? Dude, you don't know the meaning of how sorry you're gonna be til one day when you're sitting in your cell and a lonesome train whistle blows in the distance, and you feel all wistful because you know there are people on that train going places....to ballgames, off to see kin, to Kansas City to see their girlfriend, back home to Oklahoma, where the wind comes whipping off the plain, and you just have to sit there in your cell and realize you will never have the chance to cheat any of them out of their life's savings.

And that's when you'll cry. Small solace that we in the non-locked-up portion of society will henceforth call your brand of chicanery a "Madoff scheme;" "Ponzi" seems so outdated.

And poor Ruth, your devoted wife, who so nobly surrendered some of your houses (seems like John "I married the beer baron's daughter" McCain has more houses than the Madoffs did) will have to eke out a meager life, subsisting somehow on $125,000 a year. Dios Mio, she may end up selling lavender sachets in the Trailways station to be able to buy a soupbone and boil off a simple gruel for her dinner.

People say, oh, you just hate to see the high and mighty fall down. Not at all. People like this didn't really have very fall to far at all, when you think about it. G'night, Bern...Ruth...

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