Sunday, March 1, 2009

Snow Use Worrying About It

Today here in Baltimore, all the meteorologists are gazing into their crystal balls and Radaranges, and what do you think they see?

Snow. Lots and lots of snow.

Well, by "lots and lots," I mean, last night some dude on Channel 11, whom I've never seen before, said 3" - 6" from this afternoon to tomorrow morning, and if that comes true, it's more than enough to engender a full-blown - or at least partially-blown - Baltimore BMTP alert.

BMTP? Yes. You see, some 50 years ago or so, Baltimore was hit with an unexpectedly heavy snowfall, and many people were unable to get to the grocery store for several days. It's for this reason that grocers all around our area know that when snow is on the menu, the local lords and ladies will break their necks to get to the Bag-Ur-Self and stock up on bread
, milk, and toilet paper...the holy trinity of wintertime supplies for our city by the Bay.

It's not only that. February is over - the driest on record for our area since they started wasting paper saving such records - and we've hardly had goodly-squat worth of snow this whole winter. Now that March is here, it suddenly wants to snow?

That's like your neighbor showing up at your house dressed as a leprechaun, swinging a shillelagh and inviting you to come out for a wee bit of a St Patty's Day party on August 3.

It's like someone bringing out the red beans and rice after you've had dessert.

It's like going to the beach and some GQ reader wants to stroll the boardwalk in a fine silk suit.

It's too late, thanks. The time for snow is - Thanksgiving morning...any time leading up to a White Christmas...any morning in January, and President's Day weekend.

We had a blizzard in the middle of March, 1993, and by the time I finished shoveling all the snow out of our driveway, it was April, baseball had begun, and I was wearing shorts.

This is a scheduling conflict, and I'm sure that an committee will be appointed to resolve it. Meanwhile, the forecast for tonight calls for 3- 6 inches of snow, followed by little kids on sleds.

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