The Butler said it

Yes, it says "click here," but, really, don't, OK? I've been thinking about the non-necessary products for sale to us Americans, and I think this thing tops the Popeil Pocket Fisherman, the Salad Spinner, the Disc Washer, and - lest we forget - the dog sweater .

First of all, it's clear that dogs are more intelligent than humans. Is anyone willing to argue with that? Ever seen a dog listen to Rush Limbaugh? Do you know of a dog who will drink Dr Pepper six times a day? That accident you saw on the way home from work a couple of weeks ago - was either driver a dog?

It's my belief that nature, by the hand of God, gave each dog exactly the kind of fur he or she would need, thereby obviating the need for this vast dog sweater trade.

And how many dogs do you see flocking ("packing"?) to nail salons to get a manicure/pedicure? None, is the right answer, and also, the answer to "What do you call a dog with a hangnail?" is "there is no need to call him anything because such a dog does not exist!"

Poochie thinks you're silly for buying a machine to file her nails, but she loves you nonetheless because you tuck her chin and rub the back of her melon for hours on end.

Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.

Samuel Butler
English composer, novelist, & satiric author (1835 - 1902)