Don't even mention the Dalai Lama

But first - live, local, legbreaking:

Things I have learned from listening to cracker jackass right wing radio shows:

...When John McCain left his wife, well, that was understandable, and when he married the daughter of a beer baron, well, who wouldn't, ya know? But when Bill Clinton had a brief affair, he should have been burned at the stake, the mountebank, the lothario, the despoiler of all things pure and good.

...When a Republican changes his or her mind about something, he or she updates their position or revisits the issue or makes a revision, based on newly-acquired information. A Democrat who changes his or her mind about something is just a flip-flopper.

...Jamie Lynn Spears was the most horrid slattern on earth, and should have joined Clinton at the Bill-B-Q, because she had a child before getting married, and this makes her a terrible example of the evils of sex and the unbridled libido. Jamie Lynn's annual income probably affords her the chance to raise her baby in relative comfort. Bristol Palin is a fine example of the American Way, a shining light in the Alaskan sky, because she like totally intends to like get married maybe one day next week if her Mom can like write her a note and she can get out of Algebra!!!

Now back to our regularly scheduled program, already in progress:

The debate has raged for years, mainly within me, over how to pronounce the name of that animal called the llama, that hump-lacking, smaller-than-a-camel South American cud-chewing animal. Any schoolkid* can tell you these beasts with the amusing Latin genus designation Lama glama (originally, Lama glama ding dong) are widely used as pack animals by the Incas and other natives of the Andes mountains, a South American mountain range where chocolate-covered mints grow wild and are harvested by locals riding...uh, guess what?

*Any schoolkid with access to Google and nothing better to do right now.

But while you can bet your bottom peso that South Americans say this cartoonish animal's name 'yama' (with the same "ll" sound as in 'Tortilla'), you can also bet that any time I would say it that way, I was sure to get a look of disapprobation. In fact, in one landmark decision, I got six months' disapprobation. I would ask friends whose native language was Spanish about it, and they all said sure, "you say 'una yama.' '' { "LL" is its own letter in the Spanish alphabet, although the Spanish were obliged to give up the letter "K" and a third-round draft choice to get it.} But not so with my English-speaking friends, who all looked at me as if I were Bristol Palin at an abstinence rally for using the original (correct) pronunciation. In that case, I would posit, we need to start calling the flatbread in which burritos are wrapped a 'tortila' and then where does that lead? Right down the slippery slope to anarchy!

But I concede now; I give up. Mr. Garrison Keillor, broadcasting from the Minnesota State Fair this past weekend, called them "lamas" so there's no further point in my carrying on about it. I never question Mr. Keillor's use of any language, so saddle up your llamas and ride on, vaqueros! My name is Mark; como se llama usted? Oh no, here we go again.