The eight rules are as follows.
1. Love the Country do it no harm.
2. Serve the people, do no disservice
3. Follow Science, discard ignorance
4. Be diligent, not indolent
5. Be United, Help each other, Make no gains at another's expense
6. Be honest and trustworthy, do not spend ethics for profits
7. Be disciplined and law-abiding, not chaotic and lawless
8. Live plainly, struggle hard, do not wallow in luxuries and pleasure
OK, I can see #1, 2, 3, 4, 6 and 7 working here. #5 goes totally against the grain of our capitalist system, so that's out, and you try to get any three Americans not to "wallow in luxuries and pleasure" and let me know how that comes out. There goes #8! And I'm not so sure that we all agree on not being chaotic and lawless. I mean, just watch afternoon tv, or COPS on FOX. There are enough misdemeanors, felonies, civil actions, torts and trumped-up charges to fill the air with courtroom shows every single day, banishing reruns of "Eight Simple Rules" to the almost-unseen ABC Family network.
Here in Baltimore, there is arguably no greater hero than Cal Ripken, Jr., who wore #8



Of course, another local hero is Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, with whom I proudly share a high school alumni affiliation (Towson!) and a height (6'5") and a birthday (June 30), and there the similarities end. He has a slight edge in Olympic swimming gold medals, 8 - 0. This Saturday there is going to be a huge parade through the streets of Towson, saluting Michael, and fellow Olympic medalists Katie Hoff and Jessica Long. The crowd should be epic, to allow everyone in town to cheer loudly.
Baltimore County has a long tradition of making a fuss over our celebrated citizens. Last summer when Cal Jr was enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame, the county painted orange '8's on eight intersections around town. For this parade, in recognition of Phelps's eight gold medals, the county has painted a big gold '8' right in downtown Towson.

You know, there's an old expression, "Everyone loves a parade." This is why!