Weed rather have a good team

In a landmark case bound to reverberate across the legal landscape nationwide, the State Medical Board of Ohio has ruled that Cleveland Browns and Cincinnati Bengals fans can’t legally use medical marijuana to get over the stress and agony of having two subpar football teams in their state.

The board members did vote to move autism and anxiety each a step closer to the status of being conditions that would qualify sufferers to have their doctors prescribe medical marijuana.

Maybe the point is that being a Browns fan or Bengals supporter will induce great anxiety in most people. From what I see, next fall, the Bengals will hand their starting quarterback job to this Joe Burrow fellow out of Louisiana State, and they'll be back in the playoff chase, while the Browns, whose uniforms are my favorite kit in the whole world of sports, will continue to sputter with their 83rd head coach and 147th different lineup.

Vincent Morano is a longtime Bengals fan who submitted a request to be allowed to puff the magic draggin' to get over his team's maladroitness.  You can see his legal paperwork, if you wish.

"We’ve been suffering for 30 years, all of us,” Morano told the Cincinnati news. "Come Monday, everybody’s got the blues and that could ease their pain away."

Is he speaking from experience???

He hasn't attended a Bengals game for a long time, but offered this sage comment from the comfort of his home:

"People think sports do not affect people’s mental state but it obviously does."

I can't help but call him "My Cousin Vinny." He says he is a longtime advocate for legalizing marijuana, and is not trying to belittle anyone.

Morano

“I know some people think it was maybe wrong because there are real medical conditions,” Morano told cleveland.com last month. He also said it only took him 15 minutes to fill out the application, and I have to figure, the first 10 of them were spent listening to Def Leppard or something.

“At the same time, could it help? Yeah. Could it be considered a medical condition? Sure.”

We'll resist the urge to ask for his medical bona fides for now. You can support the legalization of marijuana if you wish, or not; that's your beeswax. But don't drag the poor downtrodden football teams of Ohio into it!