Rock and Roll

The names seemed to ring a bell. Apophis and Bennu. At first blush, I thought they were the names of the attorneys who represented me when I was charged years ago with spreading the Laughing Death malady among the members of the Fore tribe of New Guinea. (I beat the charge when it was brought out in court that I know no one in New Guinea.)

So I Googled Apophis and Bennu and found out they are two well-known asteroids, not attorneys, and A&B are being used to calculate how likely it is that an asteroid will collide with Earth.

Don't worry. We don't seem to be in danger of a giant rock slamming into one of our major cities, or even Boston. But people who study the skies and the heavens say there's a "near-miss" coming our way in 2029.

Earth to researchers: a "near-miss" is when you get hit. A "near-hit" is much better.

At any rate, some skywatchers, led by former MIT graduate student Sung Wook Paek , have figured out a formula to calculate the mass and speed of an approaching asteroid, and how much time we have to run and hide before the Big Boom.

Just like kids playing war games, the MIT "decision map" gives science three ways to deal with an asteroid: throw stuff at it, send a scout to see how fast it really is, and send TWO scouts to scare its asteroid off.

Speaking of throwing stuff at it, the official plan might involve blowing the approaching asteroid up with a nuclear bomb.  The various types of bombs are labeled Preparations A, B, C, D, E, F, and G.

But science is fairly sure that the best way to deal with asteroids will be Preparation H.