Falling flat

There is a surprising amount of people who believe that Earth is flat.  The rest of us were taught that Columbus sailed off long ago and was warned that he would fall off the edge of the world, which was rumored to be just east of Cleveland.

Since the concept of "Cleveland" had yet to be firmed up in man's eyes in 1492, Chris took off, and no such calamity occurred, so we were able to deduce that the globe is really globular.


Unfortunately, as of today, there is one fewer Flat Earth theorist, following the death of Michael "Mad Mike" Hughes. On Saturday, Hughes took a notion to launch himself heavenward in a homemade rocket and take pictures from way up there to prove that there is no curvature in this pancake-shaped planet we live on.

Well, he got the heaven part. His rocket crashed in the open desert.

Hughes made it to age 64 with this notion, but he will not see 65. He planned to be 5,000 feet aloft, but no. And the "Science" Channel was lending credence to this nonsense, even though no scientist would actively pursue an investigation of a theory that's already been disproved six ways to Sunday.

"Our thoughts and prayers go out to Mike Hughes' (sic) family and friends during this difficult time. It was always his dream to do this launch, and Science Channel was there to chronicle his journey," Science Channel said in a statement.

Here is what Hughes told CBS last fall: "The Flat Earth thing is like everything else to me. I just want people to question everything. Question what your congressman is doing, your city council. Question what really happened during the Civil War. What happened during 9/11."

(What's there to question about the Civil War? The right team won! And don't start in on this "9/11 was an inside job" stuff. It's been almost 20 years, and no new facts have come out of all this speculation.)

Hughes was no aeronautical engineer. He told CBS that he built his homemade rocket mostly through "trial and error," admitting, "You don't get a lot of second chances, though, in the rocket business."

Finally! Something we can agree on.

Listen, I'm not trying to make light of this man and his death. It's just that when we become so fervid about our misconceived beliefs as to endanger ourselves and others, maybe it's time to get some new inclinations, safer ones.