Sun burn

 One of the first things we did after returning from our honeymoon in December 1973 was to call up and get a subscription to the Baltimore SUN newspaper, the internationally-respected local paper here. That paper has been part of my life since first grade.

One of the first things I did after breakfast yesterday was to call up and cancel that subscription. 51 years, and pffffffft.

Was it the late daily delivery? There was a time you could count on the paper being on the doorstep by 6 AM like the proverbial clockwork. In those days, you could count on reading all about last night's ballgame or other important overnight news. Today, the paper is printed in another state (Delaware) for crying out loud, and nothing that occurs after 4 pm is mentioned. Of late, the paper skids across the driveway around 7:30, if no pileup on I-95 slowed its progress from the press to my breakfast table. 

Was it the paucity of news in a newspaper? I learned to live with the lack of a local section, and the closings of the SUN's many international bureaus, realizing that paying the salaries required for retaining that many journalists and staffers would push the cost of a newspaper up to stratospheric heights. I accepted the bare minimum. 

Was it the right-wing shift in the paper's editorial stances? Since the paper was purchased by a local right-wing zealot who made no secret of not having read a paper for many years, and who also runs a chain of TV stations across the country, and uses these stations to amplify his views, the SUN regularly now runs headlines that shower praise on some highly awful men and women. This new owner goes after politicians and other leaders, making big smokin' deals about some minor offense, while ignoring 34 felonies. In the paper, as with the broadcast spigot for his views, he delights in trying to seem that his voice is all that stands between a terrified citizenry and the forces (vaccines, say) that are poised to decimate our once-proud nation. 

And by running the text of a news story from his TV station in his paper, why that's a double value for the boss. Who cares if the words are written for the camera, not the eye?

Was it the rising price of the paper? No. I'm realistic enough to costs a lot to produce and distribute a newspaper. Hell, even that drive down from Delaware every day isn't free, and neither are labor costs, paper, ink, and vitriol, all substances needed to crank out a daily fishwrap.

No, it was tawdry billing stunts that finally teed me off. Used to be, they'd bill a flat figure every month, we'd write a check, and that was that. Now, if you want to read your bill from the SUN, you pay an extra $6.99 just have them print it and mail it. They would prefer to have direct access to our checking account, where they could withdraw however much they needed to buy office supplies or whatever. The bill is different every time, and always contains a substantial "previous balance," even though we pay up every month.

And, they tack on an additional $13.99 for "special issues" of the paper, as many as 15 times a year. These "special issues" are dopey features like a magazine saluting The Best Places To Work, or Baltimore's Best Mortuary Artists. Or wads of newsprint called "Special Puzzle Pages," filled with old Suduku, Jumble, Connect The Dots and crosswords. Oh, you can opt out of receiving the "special issues," but you have to do so every six months, and they don't tell you that.

What's a six-letter word for "neutralize or negate"? CANCEL.