Thursday, June 25, 2015

He doesn't know Diddly

You do know why they call Sean Combs "Puff Daddy" or "P Diddy" or whatever he wants it to be this week, right?  Young Sean, at maybe 145 lbs at the time, played on the high school football team for the Mount Saint Michael Academy school in New York, and he would strut around puffing out his chest in an effort to appear burly or something.

Burliness: either of you have it or you don't.  There is no faking it.

Now, Combs has gone on to great success in the entertainment field, there's no denying. But as of Monday, to add to his previous arrests on charges of illegal weapon possession, bribery, and driving on a suspended license, he added three counts of assault with a deadly weapon, one count of making terrorist threats and one count of battery,

Here's the story of a man named Puffy:  His son Justin Combs plays for the University of California, Los Angeles, as a defensive back.  Young Justin is 5 feet, 7 inches, and is a reserve on the team.

I support the University of Alabama football team, where people that size are encouraged to wave banners and enjoy the games, dressed in crimson, in the student seating area of the grandstand. But anyway.

It's no surprise that His Diddiness shows up at UCLA football practice all the time. On Monday he was there and watched assistant coach Sal Alosi holler at his son. Imagine! A football coach hollering at a football player!  Why, the very idea!

(If the name Sal Alosi sounds familiar, you might remember him from his days as strength and conditioning coach of the New York Jets, until the time he was on the sideline and did the Hokey-Pokey, sticking his right foot in to trip a Dolphin who was swimming upfield.)

A fight between Combs and Alosi ensued as The Didmaster General rushed to defend the honor of his son.  He showed up in the coach's office and threatened to hit him with a kettlebell weight.

"You're 'Diddy,' Daddy!"
“I’m thankful that our staff showed the level of professionalism that they did in handling this situation,” UCLA head football coach Jim Mora said in a statement. “This is an unfortunate incident for all parties involved. While UCPD continues to review this matter, we will let the legal process run its course and refrain from further comment at this time.”

Combs bailed himself out of the LA County hoosegow after spending several hours filling the jail with his ego.  I imagine the other prisoners took up a collection to raise the bail.  Anything to get him away from there!

I've seen this nonsense all my life, and it's time for me to offer this advice to students of all ages whose parents are as overbearing and hyperinvolved and fastuous as is H.R. Pufnstuf Didarama:

1.  Go to college.
2.  Do well there.
3.  Don't let your parents know which college you attend.

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