Monday, September 16, 2013

I'll Race You Home

We talked about it before, and now comes word that the Baltimore Grand Prix race will not be held in 2014.  Or 2015.  2016 should not hold its breath, either.

Race-day traffic
It turns out that the city of Baltimore was a little overeager to jump into the car race, which saw many of the teeming streets of downtown Baltimore closed to normal traffic so that European-style race cars could drive like bats out of Helsinki through our town.  For days before and after the race, a lot of streets were shut down, as work crews put up barriers and walls and many more seats than were needed for the paltry crowds that were willing to pay a King's ransom to sit in the heat and watch cars go by too fast.

This all took place the last two Labor Day weekends, and it cut into the profit and business activities of people who own restaurants, clubs, and dry cleaning establishments that can magically repair bullet holes in a man's suit.  Those are three huge money-making business models in the city, and along came Rapid Roy the Race Car Boy to make their establishments close down for the holiday weekend.

Business owners are upset that the city rolled out the red carpet for the three dozen people who showed up at the race, at the expense of the people who have invested their money in downtown businesses.  Enchanted by the idea of having our streets on worldwide display, the city went along with the idea, and it's only because Ohio State is coming here to play the Naval Academy in a game of football next Labor Day weekend that we will be spared the noise of a city-sponsored event that violated the city's own noise ordinances.

Normal Baltimore traffic
But we want to be good sports about it, so if anyone wishes to come to Baltimore next Labor Day weekend and see people drive recklessly and also too fast, come stay with us at the Lazy 'C' Ranch, and I will take you down to where Rt 702 and the Beltway meet.

Buckle up.

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